Month: October 2004

Insomnia and Hunger

/ life

So yeah. It’s on the upward swing of 1am. Chris is in the other room snoring away (for the LAST NIGHT, his machine comes in the morning!), and I’m HUNGRIER than 10 thousand mother–never mind. I ate 1/2 of a pickle and some Sun Chips, but I’m thinking I need a full meal. Like, a turkey sammich and Sun Chips, a pickle and a granola bar. Lord, I’d never get to sleep then. Did I mention that I can’t sleep? My mind is clicking and my fingers are itching. I want to stay up and write. But I can’t. I have to go to bed. Duty calls. Grrrr. Then there is small group afterwards. That part will be fun. And I have counseling tomorrow. I made myself this huge lunch and now I can’t wait for lunchtime tomorrow. THAT, my friends, is sad.

…

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ajklfjdkla&@#$

/ grrr!

Will someone please inform my husband that when he says he’s going to do laundry, that means he has to DRY the clothes as well? And then remove the dry, clean clothes from the dryer and put them into laundry baskets? Let me add IN A TIMELY MANNER, as in, sometime within the same 24 hours that the clothes were washed and dried in?

I went to do my LONG OVERDUE pile of laundry, and now I definitely won’t be able to finish until at least Wednesday because I found some damp, stinky clothes in the washer. They have to be washed again. GRR. This is the 2nd time in 2 weeks this has happened.

In addition, there are some dry clothes in the dryer–who knows how long they’ve been in there?

MAKE IT STOP!!!

(Maybe he’ll listen to one of you, because he surely doesn’t listen to me: davis.1025ATanywhere-is.net)

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Giggle Giggle

/ lol

Okay, I know I’m mean. But this is so fun.

I went to go and get ready for bed, right? I turned on the bathroom light. Normally, Chris sleeps through this, but he woke up this time. He came into the bathroom and asked me if I were getting ready for work. I said “Yes.” He said “Already?” He went to the bathroom, then came out and said “I have to be up at 7:30.” Then he started to set the alarm. Now, my poor husband is blind as a bat without his contacts/glasses on. So his face was plastered against the alarm clock. I finally had to tell him that it was only 11:30 and he could go back to bed.

I love to do that to him. I know, mean. But very fun. 🙂

Okay. Good night for real.

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I Can’t Believe The Weekend Is Already Over

/ life, meme, reflection, weekend

I was thinking too much in the car today. We were on our way to Target, where I was going to get some “do-rags” for my hair. Of course, I completely forgot, so I get to go back another time. See, my hair is out of control bad lately, so I need something to cover it up when those bad hair days hit. I noticed that Ivy wears them a lot and she looks so cute in them. So, I need to get some for me. They shouldn’t be too expensive, right?

Anyway, on the way to Target, I saw some women drive by in a Mercedes. They had that “rich” look. You know, perfect, slick shiny hair, evenly tanned skin, perfect makeup. And I thought to myself “I want to look rich.” Then I was confused. I’m also a wannabe hippie. Or candyraver. How can all of these MEs reconcile? There is the wannabe rich me. The one who wants to have that polished look. The one who wants to wear Tiffany jewelry, carry designer purses, and wear Uggs. The one who wants to drive a silver Audi TT roadster, eat in fancy restaurants, and travel all over. Then there is the hippie/alternative/whimsical me. The one who wants to wear do-rags and have 2 ponytails and glittery cheeks and wear long skirts and pink Chuck Taylors. Or no shoes at all. The one who wants to (legally) smoke weed (why don’t they just legalise the stuff, seriously?) after a long day of mommying and working. Then there is the tech geek me. The one who is OBSESSED with electronics–the newer and shinier the better. The one who feels empty without some contact with a computer at least once a day. There is the Christian me, the one who wants to love Jesus with all of her heart and soul. But then there is the potty-mouthed me, the one who longs to type out sh*tmotherf*ckerf*cksh*t WITHOUT the stars. Honestly, I know people are complex, but isn’t this going a bit far? I can’t be a rich-looking lady and a hippe-looking lady at the same time. It’s just not possible. At least, I don’t think it is. And I can’t be a good Christian with that kind of mouth, can I? I’m so torn. Sometimes, I want to let the cusswords FLY and I stop myself. Or I make up other silly words to replace it. Words like plip and stuff like that. So, now what? Do I have to choose? Is it possible that I can be all of those?

I am struggling to be myself. To FIND myself. I will be 30 (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) in a little over 2 months, and I’m having an identity crisis. Sad, isn’t it? I think it’s because where I am, I’m not sure if that is where I want to be. Right now, I’m a mom, a wife, a secretary. I’m not okay with one of those things. Can you figure out which? 😉

19 Questions

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