aidan

I Blend In Like A Good Weave

/ aidan, friends, life

I can’t fight it. I’ve got the urge to write again. Anything. Letters, poems, fiction. Something. I need to be writing.

So here I am, writing. Again.

It doesn’t matter that it’s after 1am and I’m dead tired from lack of good sleep. The boys got in at 1:10am Tuesday morning. I had to get them from the airport. Aidan was miserable. He held on to me for dear life. We got home around 2ish and we all went to bed shortly after. Aidan fell asleep in Chris’s arms. Since Aidan was with him, Chris did not put on his machine. His snoring kept me up so I moved to the other room. At about probably 5am, Aidan woke up and started crying for me. Chris gave him to me. Aidan stayed up crying til about 7. I was up with him, and finally we fell into a fitful 2.5 hour sleep.

Tuesday was rough. I was tired. We took Aidan back to the doctor because he had yet another fever. He’d been running them on and off for days and days. I found out what the problem most likely was, and it was my fault, and I feel so guilty. The doctor told me not to worry, it happens all the time. But I didn’t want it to happen to Aidan and now he’s sick and in pain and it’s all because of me. 🙁

Aidan is sick. I’m sick. I get these coughing fits that make me want to puke because I’m coughing so much. I nearly cry because I’m so frustrated at all the coughing with nothing to do about it. I’m out of control–just like I’m out of control of so much in my life.

I’ve seen so many movies over the past few days. Tommy Boy (great reliving it), Undercover Brother (I blend in like a good weave), Hitch (GO SEE IT NOW) just to name a few.

I need to reiterate how much I love Rob and Bizzy. Seeing them at least three times a week has become a regular thing for me. I can’t imagine what I did witih all of my time before. Actually, I can, and it involves playing around on this here computer.

Uh oh. Aidan is crying now. Looks like another long night for me. Another day off if I don’t get enough rest, and another day my boss gets to be pissed off at me. I guess I can’t help it that my little one comes first and this winter has been a rough one for me.

Later…

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Grr.

/ aidan, life, mommyhood

So what’s the point in taking the morning off of work when I can’t sleep?

I went to bed relatively early. But Aidan was coughing and that kept me up for hours. THEN he woke up at 3am having a night terror. He screamed and cried and wouldn’t sit still. He’d ask for me then pull away. He was all over the house, and throwing things, crying and doing wierd things like standing on the scale and sitting at the kitchen table. We gave him milk and fruit snacks. He threw the milk and dumped out the fruit snacks. He’d take off running and throwing things and freaking out. There is no way he was awake, but it was scary! Upstairs, sat at my computer and typed weird stuff before crawling under my desk and curling into a ball. Then he went into our bedroom, turned on the TV, then ran into the bathroom. I finally got the genious idea to turn the lights on. By now it was after four and nothing Chris or I did could help him. So, I turned on the light and it took him a few minutes but he finally woke up and was happy and back to normal and cuddling and smiling again. It took him a while to get back to sleep, though. I didn’t turn off the light til almost five, probably.

And then there is Lucy. I love my little cat, but man, she’s being a demanding little thing today.

I’m tired. I also don’t feel well. Sore throat, cough. Would rather take the entire day off, but I’m supposed to be meeting Kelle Belle (itskels) for lunch. Ugggg, I feel like crap. Seriously. I’m tired but wired, I hate when that happens. But I’m tired of feeling like poop all the time.

Oh well. I guess I should get going for now. I’ll do lunch, then go to work, then endure whatever wrath is in store for me. I’m sure there is some brewing from lots of sources. All because I have the unfortunate gift of being honest. Dang it.

But whatever.

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All About Aidan

/ aidan, life, mommyhood

I took the day off from work today because Aidan woke me up in the middle of the night freaking out and crying. I got maybe three hours of sleep. I’m pretty tired right now, but at least he’s happy and adorable.

I’ll probably get crap for this, but Teletubbies is on the TV. When he saw them he said “teletubbies” in his cute little voice! And his favorite toys lately are his preschool sized legos and his Hoover. I put batteries in the vacuum last night and he loves the thing. It’s so cute!

Dang it, he did something very adorable last night and I was supposed to document it, but I can’t remember! 🙁 OH, I know! He was pissed off while we were at Craig’s, and he first closed himself in the closet. Anytime one of us went to check on him, he got pissed and slammed the door. Then he did the same thing in the bathroom. I figured he was just having a moment and would be fine, but it was kind of weird. I expected that out of him about 11 years from now, not already!

Holy cow, I’m tired. Trying to think of something to make Aidan for lunch. Looking forward to nap time! 🙂

Hmm, so yeah. I waited so long to finish this that now Boohbah is off, Aidan is eating noodles for lunch, and I’m still tired!

He knows so many words now! It’s awesome. This morning, when I was helping him get dressed, he was talking away. But darned if I knew what he was saying. But he does say real words, and he knows shapes (triangle is his favorite!), some letters, he can draw some of the letters, and he knows a couple of colors too. He’s so smart!

He started going to an in-home day care twice a week on Tuesday. She said he’s adjusting well. What I like is that he’ll learn to share, and he’s trying new foods because the other kids are eating them. For example, yesterday he ate quesadillas for lunch! We’ve been trying to get him to try those for two weeks! I’m glad he gets to interact with other children and that he seems to love it there. I wonder, though. Is it normal for a child to have bad dreams after seeing a new care giver for a bit? ‘Cause of the change in routine?

More later, maybe.

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Aidan’s Home!

/ aidan, life

Aidan is back and is as cute as ever. He’s into everything and talking up a storm.

I missed him.

I still haven’t hugged and kissed him enough–but he’s kind of outgrowing that already. 🙁 I hope I get some good cuddle time in later! 😀

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Called In

/ aidan, life, sick

So, Aidan didn’t go to sleep until after 4am. Remind me to NEVER nap with him after 5pm again. Chris was sick, so he didn’t/couldn’t really help with him. I was supposed to be up for work in about 90 minutes, but I called in and told them that I wasn’t going to be in due to those two males in my family. There is no way I’d be much help to either of them at this point.

I’m going to try to reschedule my counseling too–I NEED to get in there this week and I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it tomorrow. I mean today. In 7 hours, bloody hell.

Where does the time go? I can’t believe I’m still awake. I wonder if I’ll ever get my sleeping pattern back on track. If it ever was on track.

*sigh* Goodnight?

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