mommyhood

NOW I Remember…

/ aidan, family, life, mommyhood, writing

…why it’s so hard for me to get focused on my writing.

I have a family. An almost 3-year-old who “NEEDS” something every ten minutes, and a husband who has to read everything out loud instead of in his head. He just spent $250 on new hockey gear and read all the instructions and warnings to me, and outlined the steps he was taking to get it all set up. Now he’s scratching off a lottery ticket and reading all the numbers aloud.

Aidan is repeating them.

And the distractions. At least it wasn’t BeJeweled 2 tonight. Just message boards and weblogs pertaining to writing.

With that said, I did get something squeaked out before getting hit with a headache. So I’m going to TRY to go to bed. Insomnia will probably keep me up (along with those pesky characters–but hey, I gave her the beginning of a voice, so maybe she’ll leave me alone long enough for me to get some sleep!)

Thank God tomorrow is Friday!!!

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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ARGH

/ aidan, mommyhood

Aidan is being a bootie. I don’t think he got a nap today. He didn’t like my worship music so he turned up his Mickey Mouse DVD REALLY loudly. He tore up a tissue and refused to throw it in the trash. Then he drew on me with one of his new crayons, then got EXTREMELY pissed when I took the crayons away for the night. (For the record, the Slick Stix Twistables–NOT a good idea in the hands of a toddler or anyone. They’re like markers and now we have a nice dark blue stain on the carpet. I wish I’d realized what I was picking out–I should have gotten the ERASABLE ones). He slammed my laptop cover down (almost on my fingers) and did so much screaming and yelling. Lord, help me.

And just when I get almost to the brink of frustration (he came up to me with his “peepee” hanging out and wouldn’t put it away), I asked him if he needed to potty. He did and now he has a Fruit Roll-Up as a treat, he put on his pajamas, and he’s happy as a lark.

*sigh*

Kids.

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A Kinda Sorta Dramatic plus Rambling Entry…

/ friends, life, mommyhood, survey, Uncategorized

I have a dilemna. this weekend, the additions to Heritage will finally be done and they are having a celebration service! I’ve been looking forward to this for a few weeks now. The choir will be singing and there will probably be snacks and stuff. BUT, Craig mentioned that he wanted to get a cabin at Lake Hope, and invited me to join. It will be PEAK and that means loads of beautiful photo opportunities. Both of these are one-shot deals and I can’t decide which to do. What do you think???? HELP ME!!

Last night, I took Jon out to celebrate his birthday. We went to The Cheesecake Factory. Jon was exhausted because he’d been helping out with his triplet nieces all day. Once he got some Irish Coffee in him, he was fine. Wouldn’t smile for the picture I took of him, but he was fine. THAT BOY CAN PUT AWAY SOME FOOD, let me tell you. He had the chicken alfredo sans the sun-dried tomatoes, and he ate it all. I had the crusted chicken romano. Very yummy, but a LOT of food. The chicken covered the entire plate!! Naturally, I brought some of that home with me. I drank a Cosmopolitan. It was $8.50! I didn’t really like it, but I forced myself to drink it all because hello, it was $8.50. I should have stuck to my usual Amaretto Sour. But hey, live and learn, right? It did get me feeling good and I guess that is what really matters, right? They do not play around there with their drinks, that’s for sure.

Bizzy joined us for dessert. She had the chocolate mousse cake, warmed up. I had the lemon raspberry cream cheesecake, and Jon had the apple crisp. After dinner, we went and watched Waiting. Funny, slightly disturbing film. Especially since Jon, who used to work at Applebee’s, confirmed some of the things that went down in the movie. Moral of the story? BE NICE TO THE PEOPLE WHO HANDLE YOUR FOOD!!!

We stopped in Hot Topic before the movie and I got a BOONDOCK SAINTS t-shirt. Oh yes.

I could not sleep last night. I tossed and turned forever. Even though I had eaten all the food, my stomach somehow thought it was empty. I was daydreaming about spaghetti and pizza and french fries and couldn’t wait for the night to end so lunchtime could be closer. I don’t think I fell asleep before 2am. It didn’t help that Aidan was tossing and turning like crazy and he kept wanting to lie on my face!! He also kept pushing me nearly off the bed and stealing my pillow.

I am pretty tired, but I’ll be okay.

And tell me how sad this is. I don’t watch a lot of TV, but the past two Sundays, I’ve been coming downstairs just in time to catch the end of Cold Case. I get attached JUST ENOUGH in that fifteen minutes or so to have to fight tears every time. What is that all about? Do any of you watch that show? I’m not one for crime shoes, or much TV at all, so this is crazy.

That might change though. Time Warner offered us a super deal. We will get 74 cable channels for $24 a month until 2007. Woot. I can watch FOOD NETWORK and TLC again!! 🙂 🙂 I don’t know when it will be installed, but it’ll be neat to be able to watch Unwrapped again. Not to mention Lifetime. 🙂

Someone awesome is coming over tonight and we’re going to eat awesome food and have awesome fun. I CAN’T WAIT!!! 🙂 🙂

Speaking of Aidan, he is amazing me every single day. His speech is developing more and more every time I hear him talk. Yesterday, I told him I like it when he talks, and he talks a lot which is great. He builds things, he pretends. Last night, before I got ready for bed, he was downstairs “cooking” for me. He brought it up and said “Mommy, I got food for you!” It was pretend, of course, but soooo darn cute.

He had a growth spurt. I had a feeling that’s what had been happening. He was cranky and extra clumsy and sleeping a LOT and eating like a little piglet. (He and I ate an entire box of Froot Loops Friday night :x). Now his bibs are too short for him. Such a shame as he insists on wearing them all the time and then running around yelling “I CUTE!”

In Target Friday night:
Ronni (pointing to a 30 minute meals book): Who is that?
Aidan: (looks confused)
Ronni: It’s Rachel Ray!
Aidan: That’s my GIRLFRIEND!

Back in 1997ish, I watched the US National Gymnastics competition. Erin (celinedion), you might remember this. All the gymnasts were posed at the beginning in a shadow room, they played this dramatic music (which I feel in LOVE with immediately) to introduce the competition. Yesterday at work, I was listening to the iTunes shared music and noted that the person who puts all the Celtic music had put on more David Arkenstone. So I listened to it. The last song was THAT SONG. I thought for sure I’d never hear it again and now, here I have an artist and a name: The Quest of Culwch. If anyone has it, please send it to me please? Pretty please?? I do plan to buy the CD (actually, I’m going to buy all of his CDs–I already have Atlantis, but I want the others too) but I have to wait ’til I get paid to pick it up and I WANT IT NOW.

Seven years ago, it was Fall 1998

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:)

/ aidan, life, mommyhood

This morning, I was sleeping and I was awakened by a big boom (Aidan opening his door) and running into our room. He gave me a big hug and kisses. What a nice way to wake up, huh? He asked for juice. I should have given him milk.

Oh well, next time.

He asked to go to the potty and he pooped AND peepeed! Then he wanted a bath after that. THEN he pretty much washed himself, and then put on his own shirt and gave me lots of hugs and kisses in the process. Now he’s all dressed and drawing letters on some paper.

It’s so weird having him back, but it’s fun too.

Had fun last night as well. Went to Rob’s last night. A bunch of us hung out, ate ice cream, and watched movies. Chris’s VERY COOL cousin came with us. Had a good time for the most part. 🙂

I’m paying for eating the ice cream, though.

Now it’s time for church and then the zoo. WooHoo! 😀

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Wow.

/ aidan, church, friends, horoscope, life, mommyhood, music

The Moon in Virgo today may express a more vulnerable side than usual as it reflects a powerful conjunction between aggressive Mars and wounded Chiron. When the directed energy of Mars runs into obstacles, it may remind us of earlier experiences that still hold unprocessed emotional pain. We might even feel as if we cannot complete what we’ve started because the world is working against us. Additionally, sweet Venus is confused by a tense aspect with visionary Neptune, indicating that some of the negativity could very well originate in fantasy.

Wow, only 8am and already this is accurate for me. Had lots of thoughts as I was driving to work this morning. Nothing I want to go into greatly, but wow. Definitely some unresolved issues going on in my life. I’ll probably never get closure on them because the other person did what he thought was right and as far as he is concerned, it’s water under the bridge. I wish I could be as unaffected by things as he appears to be. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t ask. It’s gonna stay that way.

Sooo tired. Got involved in a project and didn’t go to bed ’til one. Then Aidan woke up at 4:30am with another night terror. I feel so badly for him when he has those because there is nothing I can do but wait it out. Once it’s over, he’s back to being cute and all, but during them, it’s awful. He screams and everything scares him and he thrashes about, and he asks for stuff but not really. Last night he asked for juice, for Mickey Mouse. I finally turned on the light in the hall which seemed to calm him down and he finally settled down and made cute little noises before falling asleep. Poor little guy.

The Grove was nice last night.

WARNING: lots of names you won’t recognize coming up!

The Grove was nice last night. Busy for me but good.

I made the slides Monday night, and also photocopied more issues of The Bark to pass out. Last night, I got to the church at six and helped set up for the slide show. Unfortunately, I’d thought that someone would know how to hook my computer to the projector! Tyler is out of town and he usually handles it. Jed D came and hooked it up and showed me how to do it. It’ll be good to know even though we’re moving to the sanctuary next month (hopefully??) and won’t have to worry about setting up like that anymore.

So we got the computers hooked up and the slide show ready. Then Tony wanted to play a video and we couldn’t get the sound to work. So Aaron and some other guys ran out to Meijer to get a certain cable and they got it to work. Christie M had to go and get snacks because the guy in charge of that had a family emergency and couldn’t be there early. Things were getting hectic and just when I thought they couldn’t get any more crazy, Abbie tapped me on the shoulder. It was time to practice for the drama skit!! Yikes. I forgot my line once during the practice–fortunately we didn’t have to say exactly what was on the paper, so improvisation happened a LOT during the skit. I didn’t hear it done the same way twice by anyone, except maybe Christy J. So my actual performance went well. 🙂 Aidan got very excited to see me, Chad, and Christy up front and kept yelling our names. The cheers were actually encouraging. But Chris had to take Aidan out in the hall because it was hard for people to hear. 🙁

Overall, the message was pretty good, the singing was good, but the best part is was seeing my friends and catching up with them. 🙂

My current “can’t get enough of these songs” playlist:

> Twista f. Lil Jon – Let’s Go
> Jem – Falling For You
> A Perfect Circle – Passive
> Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me
> Coldplay – Clocks

TIME!! Why is it running away from me???

There is so much I want to do for my friends but there is never any free time. And the time I do get–I go to sleep! I have three packages to assemble and send out, cards that I NEED to get out ASAP, letters to write, bills to pay, pictures to send, scrapbooks to make, online photo albums to make, a synopsis to edit, agents to query, new chapters to write, character sketches to complete, editing to do. This, on top of church stuff, taking care of Aidan, *trying* to stay on top of keeping the house clean (a mostly futile effort), and working full time. Usually by mid-day Thursdays I am absolutely tapped out. But thanks to Aidan’s night terrors, the tapped out is happening RIGHT NOW.

^^Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I made the choice to take all of this on and I accept it. One day all of this hard work and investing in my writing career and in people will pay off. It’s already paid off tremendously. I have some amazing, incredible, wonderful friends. Maybe someday I’ll have an amazing, incredible, wonderful writing career.

And dang it, I MISS ROB. I haven’t seen him since Friday, which is unusual. ::mental note – make time for Rob ASAP::

Two friends in particular have skyrocketed to the very top of my prayer list. Their stories are not mine to share, but those of you who pray, can you please ask for God to be with them?

My prayer list is so long–seems like I have very little time to do that anymore, even. 🙁 I have to MAKE TIME for God, but HOW?? He needs to be a priority in my life, even if I’m pissed off at Him or something. If only I could shorten my workday (and still earn my same salary) and increase my free time. Then I’d be able to spend more time with my friends, spend more time with God, spend more time doing what I enjoy. And SLEEP!

Mmm, sleeeeep. Usually I would take a nap during my lunch, but today we’re having a good-bye lunch for someone on the team. BD’s Mongolian BBQ. I hope I make it good this time.

Then tonight is Steak and Shake with some special girls. That will be uplifting, I think. The last time we all ate there it was mind-blowingly awesome. I’m looking forward to that very much.

I’m going to TRY to be in bed by 10:30pm tonight. We’ll see how that goes.

Alright, ta ta for now! 😀

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