reflection

Remembering…. (Picture)

Exhibit

Yesterday, Adam and I went to the National Vietnam Veterans Art Museum. They had free admission in honor of Memorial Day. This museum is wonderful; an outlet for those dealing with PTSD due to what they experienced in the war(s), as they have artwork, photographs, and sculptures not only from Vietnam, but from Afghanistan and even Iraq. The work there is powerful and moving, and informative. There is so much that most of us will never know. Those people pay and have paid a price that most of us cannot fathom.

The picture is of the dog tags in the museum. They hang above the main entrance, the clinking a haunting and constant reminder of the more than 58,000 men and women who served and died in the Vietnam War.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Last Saturday Night in Columbus

It’s so weird. When the crazy across the hall slams her door, I think to myself “THANK GOD I’LL BE RID OF YOU IN A FEW DAYS.” But when I hug someone and they have that inevitable sad look on his or her face, I feel sad. It’s a bittersweet ending. I started offically living in Columbus during the summer of 1995, when the building I was living in offered a can’t refuse deal on its summer rent costs. I was already tired of moving back to Cleveland for the summers; my life was in Columbus by then.

The last thirteen years…

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Random Stream of Consciousness Kinda Sorta

Friday night, I craved Buffalo Wild Wings (aka b-dubs) so much that I went out, at 9:30pm, to get some.

I ordered the 12 mild wings and a side of buffalo chips. Friday night, I ate 6 wings and some of the chips. Yesterday I ate 4 wings and the rest of the chips, and marveled that I had 4 wings left. Apparently, I was given extra, which was fine because I had waited AGES for my food to be ready.

Today, about three hours ago, I ate the last four, along with some Crispy Crowns (insert registered trademark symbol here).

(On a random sidenote, did you know that Tater Tots is a registered trademark? I just found out about that late last year.)

I am craving more mild buffalo wings from b-dubs RIGHT NOW. It may be because the smell from heating up the earlier leftovers is lingering and tempting. Or it may be because I haven’t eaten a whole lot this weekend and they sound really good right now. Or, they’re just so freakin’ good that I can’t help craving them.

Do you know how hard it is not to head out RIGHT NOW?

Mmm, wings.

I didn’t go to the grocery store. I climbed into bed with a book instead. I plan to go tomorrow after work. MUST HAVE BACON.

I wonder if I should buy a bottle of the b-dubs mild sauce to have on hand. Then I can make my own dang wings.

I have to go to the library, too. I have a bunch of things due, and I have some reserves to pick up. Tomorrow is the last day for one of the reserves. So. grocery store, library. Right, then.

I post at the Wisebread forums quite a bit, especially recently, and someone suggested a Web site where one can get free meditation and relaxation music. Go here to check it out. Some of the music is really great. I love that New Age stuff.

The other night, just for shits & giggles, I went to eBay to see if they had the following things:
– a Holly Hobbie oven
– Dolly Pops

They had them both. When I saw the Holly Hobbie oven, I got choked up. You see, they had high demand toys in the 1970s too. And Holly Hobbie ovens were it. I wanted one so badly, but my mother could never find one for me. I think I’ll save the picture of it to my hard drive and look at it from time to time. Obviously, I don’t need a Holly Hobbie oven now, but to see one that I could actually own if I was willing to drop $65 or so is kind of nice.

They had the Dolly Pops fashion show toy I had when I was younger. Dolly Pops were like paper dolls, only plastic. I can’t even describe them except to say they kicked ass. I looked at the pictures of the “outfits” and giggled at the roller skating outfit; I totally had that.

Tonight, I see the Baby Skates doll I used to have. I had one of each–the black one and the white one. Yes, I was a spoiled little girl. The thing is, they weren’t put together well, and the leg always broke off. But she was still an awesome doll, and perfect for me, as I was really into roller skating back then (and I’d gotten roller skates that Christmas, too). I am also looking at some old Barbies. I have most of my old ones, but I lost my Tropical Miko, and there is the Barbie and the Rockers Diva doll I always wanted but never got. (I kind of have a thing for redhead dolls.)

Diva is expensive. I have a feeling she was hard to find then, and she is not that easy to find now.

Oh God. How tempting, to buy the toys I never had. Or toys I had but no longer do. But then that’d be more stuff to pack and move and then pack away in a box. OK, I would play with both of them, I know I would. But still. *trying to behave*

(I just got hit with an incredible urge to play Barbies.)

Speaking of nostalgia and vintage toys…. I want to see if anyone remembers this game. It was one of those games similar to Perfection or Superfection (which no one remembers! It was white, and you had to put pieces together before you could put them on the board!). You had to put a bunch of numbers in order before the thing popped and put them all over the place. The game board was black, the pegs with the numbers on them were green. I can see the game clearly in my mind, but I can’t remember the name of it. Anyone have any ideas?

And does anyone remember when Mr. Mouth had a big yellow face, not that green froggy face?

This is what I hear right now. The upstairs television BLARING. >.< People stomping around in the halls and uptairs. Doors slamming. ARGH. Annoying. Ah, TV just turned down. GOOD. But now there is a random baseline coming from somewhere, but I'm hoping it's quiet in my room. Sundays are so bittersweet. On the one hand, it's still a weekend day, but the evening m eans that Monday is here that much sooner. And twelve hours from now, I'm going to be cranky because it'll only be 9am but it will seem like I've been there for 7 hours. *sigh* C’est la vie.

Signing off, craving b-dubs more than ever now. Maybe I’ll get some for dinner tomorrow. Sike. Not after buying groceries!

Night.

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I’m Sitting Here…

On my lunch break, going through my RSS feeds. One of them is from Meg Cabot’s blog. She posted an account of what she went through six years ago today.

When I got up this morning, the date didn’t register. Not until the DJs on the radio talked about the new Osama Bin Ladin tape—the one where he added himself to the 9/11 videos. Not until I was driving into work and noted the grey skies and the rain. Six years ago, the weather was clear, partly sunny, and slightly breezy. One of those perfect autumn days. My favorite kind of day. I’d been on my way to an offsite meeting. A plane took off over me as the car barrelled down I-670, and I remember thinking “I wish I was flying somewhere today.”

Reading Meg’s entry today brought back that bone-chilling terror I felt when I realized what was going on. When I got to the park where the meeting was going to be held, the administrative assistants weren’t busy bustling around and setting up. They were gathered around the TV, watching the extraordinary events unfold.

Shock. Terror. Fear. Then, tears. Lots and lots of tears.

So I’m sitting here, and I’m crying, because I remember the terror of living that day.

I remember calling everyone I could to make sure they were all right… because after all, who know what else was going to be attacked?

All I’d wanted to do was go home. I was glad when someone offered me a ride, because the person I’d have carpooled with was somehow determined to stay and work. I was determined to go somewhere familiar.

I remember the eerie silence, then the boom of a single plane as it flew over Westerville, Ohio. I remember that terror hitting again full force at the sound of this lone plane–what if they were coming for me? But then I realized that only one plane wasn’t grounded. Air Force One.

I’m crying because I know there are people in the world who live like this EVERY SINGLE DAY—it is their way of life, and it’s much, much worse that what I went through. Because it does not end for them. Who knows if it will end for them?

I’m sad that people can drive themselves to hate so much that they think that kind of violence is okay. Anywhere.

Every day, I live my life on this tiny little RonniLevel, because eventually, life did get back to normal in a way for me. I worked, paid the bills. Had a baby. Got divorced. I still work, pay the bills. A year ago today, I started working at Zaner-Bloser. I get frustrated at the slow drivers. I take pictures of foolishness at Dragon*Con. I send emails to Adam all day. That’s my life. It’s so easy to forget about major things such as 9/11, the tsunami, Hurricane Katrina in the hustle and bustle of living, of planning, of working for the future. Or just trying to survive the day.

I almost forgot. I should never forget.

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