reflection

Reflection

Despite all the stuff going on in July, this month’s creeped by. I think it has to do with the fact that Adam is coming to visit in two weeks, and that just seems like an eternity away. July just seems to have an extra week more than other months. *sigh*

Well, someday, I’ll be living in Chicago, so I won’t feel like I’m constantly WAITING for something boring or obligatory to be over so I can get to the fun stuff—the stuff that never lasts long enough. I’m not going to lie. Waiting 6–8 weeks to see someone for 3 days sucks, and it’s very frustrating. Waiting for the weekends, those days that speed by in the blink of an eye. Or waiting two weeks for payday when I don’t really get to enjoy the money as it all goes to bills and rent and gas and food. Yes, I spend a lot of time feeling frustrated.

But oh well. That’s life for now. Always waiting, never satisfied.

Even though I try. I try to latch on to the little things that come up here and there so I won’t feel like I’m waiting for stuff that’s so far off it’s still pretty much a pipe dream. But even still, looking forward to those little things means MORE waiting.

I’m tired of waiting. I want to LIVE.

Finished the new Harry Potter book. All I’m going to say is that I’m happy with how things turned out.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

Comments Off on Reflection

Teachers

Meg Cabot’s entry about her teacher nearly made me cry:

Constance Holland, A Great Teacher

Funny that I think about Meg a LOT when I start to feel beaten down. Her books were rejected LOTS and LOTS of times before she finally got in, and now she’s a best-seller. I wish I could focus harder on people like her instead of wallowing when I get knocked down (again and again and again).

I can’t believe some of you still bother to read my LJ, with all the histrionics and dramatics I put on here.

Anyway, my teacher was Miss Ruth Wheeler. She was my 12th grade AP English teacher. I’d gone to an inner-city high school, and I was an honor’s student. Not a good combination, as the “regular” students hated us. Some of the teachers did too. In one class, we were purposely given grades lower than the non-honors students because we were too “full of ourselves.” Everyone felt that honors students cheated. It was hard for an honors student to be taken seriously because the others didn’t want “us” running the school. We’ve had teachers tell us that we’d never make it through college (Uh, BA in Psychology from Ohio State right here), that we’d be living in the same lower middle class neighborhoods and life styles that we grew up with (granted, I am living paycheck to paycheck now, but I don’t live in fear of gunshots outside of my window anymore), and pretty much said we’d never amount to anything.

We were a classroom of brilliant kids, but some of us (like me) were beaten down by all the negativity. Miss Wheeler would get so mad, practically yelling at us that those other people were wrong. We were going to make something of ourselves. We were going to be special.

She signed my yearbook with: You, more than anyone else in the class, have the potential to become famous. As an author, I hope.

Boy, I hope so too.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

Comments Off on Teachers

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Well, my “home” is Columbus, but you all know where my heart really is.

After some about an hour-long delay at Midway Airport, Southwest Airlines Flight 2220 departed at about 10:30pm CST, 55 minutes behind schedule. What is it with me NEVER getting back to Columbus on time? Hmmm. Maybe Chicago loves me so much that it doesn’t want to let me go. ;)

Someday it won’t have to.

I’m tired, but just wanted to let those of you who were wondering if I made it home okay…yes, I’m home. I’m going to bed. I’m TIRED.

But it was so worth it. Details and pictures soon. ♥

Comments Off on Home Is Where the Heart Is

End of the Year Reflections

01. Was 2006 a good year for you?
Yes, I’ll have to say, for the most part, it was. It certainly was interesting.

02. Where were you, and who were you with, when 2006 began? And where will you be when it ends?
I was at Chad and Christy’s house, at a New Year’s Eve Party. Some of the people I was with included Kim, Ben, Caty, Christy, Abbie to name a few.

I will be here in my apartment, wearing my blue footie pajamas, and hanging with Aidan when it ends.

03. What were your biggest achievements of the year?
– Aidan, Aidan, Aidan, and Aidan;
– signing with a big time literary agent;
– making it through the year with no accidents or speeding tickets;
– taking huge leaps of faith in regards to my personal life;
– taking a chance with a new job;
– taking my first “road trip” all alone;
– reading more than 100 new books;

04. What was your biggest failure or regret?
– Not selling ONLY YOURS.
– CRUSH getting rejected.

05. What did you do that you’d never done before?
– saw Bob Dylan (twice!);
– saw Wicked;
– ate rattlesnake;
– visited The Grand Canyon;
– visited Philadelphia, PA;
– visited Phoenix, AZ;
– attended a Writers’ Conference;
– took a ghost tour (I ended up taking six!);
– cooked a Crock-Pot meal;
– attended a Writers’ Conference;
– started a debt management program;
– got a flu shot;
– friendship journal with Amy and Star.

06. What did you hope to do but didn’t manage to?
Save money. Visit Ivy. Sell Only Yours.

07. Are you going to try to do these things this coming year instead?
Yes.

08. Did you make any major decisions? If so, what were they?
a) I became separated.
b) I asked for a dissolution.
c) I changed jobs.
d) I decided to wean myself off of the Lexapro. I am down to 10mgs a day instead of 20mgs. So far, so good.

09. Did you explore any new ideas or concepts you had never considered before?
Yes.

10. What did you learn?
That there is a lot more to me than I ever imagined. And that I like it.

11. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My friends tell me that MY behaviour does, because I was strong and taking charge and blah blah blah, but I have to say THEIRS did, because they’ve gone above and beyond to make me feel supported, loved, taken care of. Andy, Rosa, Ivy, Star, Adam, Amy, Wanda, Helen, Ci, I love you all and I am very grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for everything.

12. Whose behaviour upset you?
No names, but the people who decided to stop talking to me because of decisions I made with regards to my personal life.

13. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveled more. Planned more. Written more.

14. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Holding back. Keeping secrets. Stressing out. Worrying.

15. What did you get really excited about?
a) Visiting Chicago all the times I did. :)
b) Seeing the Grand Canyon.
c) Bob Dylan concerts.

16. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I know of.

17. Did anyone close to you die?
Grandpa Davis. :(

18. Did you attend any weddings or funerals?
Grandpa Davis’s funeral in February.

19. Did you miss anybody?
Yes.

20. Which countries did you visit?
N/A. Dang it.

21. Which new places did you visit?
Ft. Wayne, IN., Philadelphia, PA.

22. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing unusual.

23. What was the best thing you bought?
All of my plane tickets to Chicago, and my digital SLR camera.

24. Where did most of your money go?
Bills.

25. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? the same
b) thinner or fatter? fatter
c) richer or poorer? poorer, most definitely poorer

26. What was your favourite film of the year?
Clerks II.

27. What was your favourite TV programme?
N/A.

28. What was the best book you read?
The Giver by Lois Lowry.

29. What did you want and get?
A DSLR camera, an agent.

30. What did you want and not get?
A publishing contract. Constant financial security.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. Bizzy came over and we ate spaghetti and watched The Boondock Saints.

32. What was your personal fashion concept of this year?
Jeans, sweaters or tee-shirts, my cheap Champion shoes. Or peasant skirts and camis.

33. Did you make any significant changes to your appearance?
I stopped wearing makeup, except for powder to tone down the shine. I began wearing my hair shorter, although that wasn’t really my choice. BUT, I did stop straightening it so much, and started letting it air dry.

Curly Sunday New Hairdo

34. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
I didn’t really fancy anyone, but I did have a raging crush on Trent Ford for about ten minutes.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Execution.

36. What world event affected you more than any other?
Too many to get into right now.

37. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 29, 2006, for reasons I want to keep private for now.

38. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing outside of the ordinary.

39. What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
“My Love” by Justin Timberlake
“Sanctus” by Philip Riley and Jane Elleson
“What Goes Around…/…Comes Around” by Justin Timberlake
“Sorry” by Madonna
“Gotta Go, Gotta Leave (Tired) by Vivian Greene
“Believe In Me” by Pleasure Center

40. Did you fall in love in 2006?
I did. With Chicago. With pretty, dramatic sunrises over the Columbus skyline. With the American Heritage dictionary. With copyediting. With photography, using filters and lenses. With my little boy, as he grows and becomes the person he is meant to be–funny, charming, affectionate, smart, amazing. With much, much more, that I want to hold inside for now.

41. How many one-night stands?
Negative.

42. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t think so.

43. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I enjoyed “discovering” Bob Dylan, Josh Groban, and Justin Timberlake (again). Oh, and Jennifer Berezan. The Returning CD is ace.

44. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Selling a book!

45. What kept you sane?
My friends. Sometimes, I just don’t understand how they put up with me!

46. Who was the best new person you met?
Adam Selzer. He’s awesome. ?

47. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Selling a book!

48. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“Getting your dreams, it’s strange, but it seems, a little well, complicated. There’s a kind of a sort of, loss, and a couple of things get lost. And there bridges to cross you didn’t know you crossed until you cross.”

49. What would you like to happen in the coming year, either personally or in a more global sense?
I want to get better with money, and MAKE MORE OF IT. I want to finally publish a book. I want to write and write and write. I want to travel more. Continue enjoying the copyediting. Pick up some freelance jobs. For Adam’s prediction to come true that 2007 will be a good year.

50. What are some of your personal goals for the new year?
Get a promotion. Publish a book.

51. What would you like to avoid?
Drama. Living paycheck-to-paycheck.

52. And finally, where do you see yourself in a year’s time?
I have no idea.

* * *

Were you in school (any time this year)?
Nope.

How did you earn your keep?
McGraw-Hill for most of the year, then I moved to Zaner-Bloser starting in September. Still in the publishing world.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Nope.

Did you encounter the police?
Nope.

Where did you go on vacation?
In May, I went to Las Vegas, The Grand Canyon, and Phoenix. In June, July, August, and September, I went to Chicago. In November, I went to Philadelphia.

What did you purchase that was over $500?
My digital SLR camera.

Did you know anybody who got married?
Holly & Robert. I photographed the wedding.

You know anybody who passed away?
Grandpa Davis.

Have you run into anybody you graduated high school with?
I talk to Andy all the time.

Did you move anywhere?
Yes, I moved out of the house on Bauer St., into my own place in Clintonville.

What sporting events did you go to?
None.

What concerts did you go to?
I saw Bob Dylan in Ft. Wayne, IN, and I saw him in Philadelphia, PA. In addition, I popped in on a Tony Lucca gig that was local.

Are you registered to vote?
Yes.

If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
It’s not a duty to me. It’s a privilege and an honor. And yes, I did vote.

Where do you live now?
Columbus, OH (Clintonville neighborhood)

What’s the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
See Wicked!!!

What is one thing you regretted this year?
Spending too much money. Bah.

What’s something you learned about yourself?
I guess I’m a lot braver than I thought.

Any new additions to your family?
No.

What was your best month?
June, and September.

What from pop culture will you remember 2006 by?
– Justin bringing SexyBack. Oh my.
– Actually LIKING the damn Paris Hilton song (Stars Are Blind).
– Britney’s crotch. Double oh my.
– TomKat madness. Oh help.

How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (lousy) to 10 (excellent)?
I’m going to have to say a 7.85.

* * *

IN 2006 HAVE I:

Hugged someone? Of course!!
Gotten into a fight? Yes.
Cried? Yes, far too much.
Smoked? A bit.
Drank alcohol? Yes.
Kissed someone on the cheek? Yes.
Reunited with an old friend? Yes.
Been suspended? No.
Let something go? Yes.
Been whipped? No. Unfortunately. ;)
Learned any important lessons? Yes.
Got a kiss on the cheek? Yes.
Kissed someone on the lips? Yes.
Considered suicide? Not seriously.
Cut/dyed your hair drastically? No.
Flirted? Sure.
Been backstabbed? Yes.
Missed someone? Yes.
Hit someone? Oh yeah. >:)
Broken something really important to you? Yes.
Cuddled with someone? Yes.
Broken somebody’s heart? Yes.
Done something you really regretted? Don’t even get me started.
Laughed so hard that it hurt? Yes.
Cried so hard that it hurt? Yes. Too often.
Got cheated on? I hope not.
Gone on a date? No.
Got dumped? Yes, by some “friends.”
Dumped someone? No. More like stepped back for a bit.
Made a new screen name? Yes.
Lost a friend? Yes.
Gotten any tattoos/piercing? No. Dammit.
Watched porn? Hell no.
Been in a love/hate relationship? Eh?
Loved someone so much that it hurt? Yes.
Been grounded? Nope, LOL.

FRIENDS:
Lost: I’m not going to list them because it doesn’t matter anymore.
Drifted: Can’t really say because friendships are so static.
Found: Adam, my writing friends. Friendships with others have grown deeper, like with Rosa, and Wanda.

Me & Adam Me & Mandy Group Shot

BODY:
Weight: Went up five to ten pounds. I’m now 115-120lbs. Eep.
Piercing/tattoos: N/A
Height: 5′2″ ish.
Hair: Short.

STUDIES:
N/A

BAD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– As if I’m going to admit them here. >:)

GOOD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– Grand Canyon.
– Chicago, a lot.
– Bob Dylan.
– Raised Aidan.
– Debt management program (that means I can accumulate no more debt!)
– Taken a HUGE step.
– Got a new job.
– Traveled a lot.
– Let go.

THINGS I HOPE TO DO IN 2007:
– Sell my novel.
– Finish a new novel.
– Go back to a Disney park.

Happy New Year!!

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments Off on End of the Year Reflections