reflection

So true….

“No one worth possessing can be quite possessed.” -Sara Teasdale

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Incredible…

Stole this link from a friend. Isn’t it amazing how far we’ve come? We still have a long way to go, but imagine what I wouldn’t have it this way of living was still enforced?

Imagine what I would have if it was still enforced?

I wonder how different my life would be right now. I probably wouldn’t have most of the friends I have now. I probably wouldn’t have this nice house, this computer. Aidan would look a LOT different!

I can’t even fathom living in a world that encourages that kind of separatism….and yet, I still do, in a way…..

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Happy New Year!

I had a pleasant New Year’s Eve. I wasn’t sure what to expect, as some behind the scenes stuff (read:DRAMA) had gone down, but it was nice. I ended up ringing in the New Year with Rob, Tyler, Becky, Craig and of course Chris and Aidan. It came so quickly. I started drinking at 5pm. But I paced myself. I had 3 glasses of wine and an amaretto sour. I got buzzed and fuzzy, but definitely not drunk.

Rob is soo funny. I want to hang out with him more. He definitely manages to cheer me up. Often. All the time, actually. And you know what else? I love when he plays guitar. He makes the cutest faces when he’s singing, but the weirdest faces for pictures. AND AND I loved his song about Tyler.

I got to talk with Tyler for a long time and that was good. It had been a long time since we’d talked like that and it was nice to do it again. Craig, as always, was a tremendous help with Aidan. Chris was making the BOMB drinks. Becky is amazing. Aidan is cute and definitely hitting those teribble 2s. Lord help me.

Gratefulness being sent to Tyler because of his willingness to drive Rob and Becky all the way to my place to celebrate New Year’s with me even though he lives on the complete opposite side of the world from me. πŸ˜€ He’s such a good sport…on many levels.

Tina and Kim stopped over, looking gorgeous, and Tina gave me REALLY cool gifts! A Lord of The Rings activity CD-ROM and a Sean Astin’s book There and Back Again. But get this. The book is SIGNED. By Sean Astin. HOW SWEET IS THAT??????!!!!! Yeah, pretty frikkin sweet, right?

The movie of the night was Welcome To The Dollhouse. That is one seriously weird move. Tyler said it’s a lot like–oh crap. The one that just came out on DVD. Everyone’s talking about it. Dang it, I totally cannot remember. Oh well.

OH it just came to me. Napoleon Dynamite.

I’m so tired, but I’m waiting to see if my friends pop online, then I can make sure they got home okay. Becky is on, but Rob hasn’t done anything (he might not), and Tyler’s not on yet. I won’t be able to rest til I see them online and okay. I’ve been up for almost 24 hours. Isn’t that always fun?

Wow. I really feel like cussing.

Shittityshitshit.

Damn. That wasn’t satisfying at all. I know what I really want to say. But I won’t say it.

Best Buy finally got in the digital camera I wanted (did I already mention this?) so I got it today! It’s 5.1 megapixels, very cute, with a 3x optical zoom (the GOOD lens)! It looks like this:

I also bought a 128 megabyte memory stick, a jump drive, a camera case, and Kelly Clarkson’s new CD with all gift cards and I still have cards left!!! How awesome is that?? πŸ™‚

In a few hours, I’ll be sleeping my head off in the car as we head up to Aurora to see my mommy for Christmas. I know it’s late, but travel conditions prevented celebrations that would have normally taken place last week.

Alrighty then. I’m banking that T might not sign on. I’m giving him 19 more minutes (til 5:45) and then I’m giving up and going to bed.

Gosh, I can’t believe the holidays are over. πŸ™ The anticipation builds and then it’s gone so quickly. In a flash. Then a new year starts. Who knows what’s in store for me? *sigh* The thought of it excites me, fills me with fear and anticipatory dread, and fascinates me. What new music will I discover? Will I meet new friends? Will my friendships with my new friends from 2004 continue to grow and blossom? What will Aidan learn and do? Will I get a new job? Will I publish a book? Will I be able to let that thing go? I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Or maybe I’m just tired in general. Heh. Hey, maybe I can make it to 6:30 and it really will be 24 hours. I am such a trooper.

Happy New Year!!!

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Reflections of 2004 and Looking Ahead to 2005

Notable Things of 2004:

In January, I glanced at the TV and immediately developed a crush on Adam Brody. Ha ha.

In February, I got my driver’s license, and I met Katie live4himalways, my bright shining star.

In March, I met new people who would impact my life tremendously: Tyler, Kelly, Rob, Monica, and Garth. I started working with Crosstrainers, the high school ministry at my church. It was quite the rewarding experience.

In April, I finished my novel!

In May, I met Bizzy otaku_witch, Emily yoimemily, Becky magecky413, more people who would tremondously impact my life.
I said goodbye to Tami, who went overseas to teach English for 3 months. I learned the value of true friendship, and realized that there were people who I’d barely knew who cared a great deal about me. That was incredible.

In June, I said goodbye to Garth, who went overseas for a few weeks, and in his place, took over the small group for a bit. I enjoyed the opportunity to get closer to the members of the group. I played volleyball in a pool for the first time ever and had a wonderful time doing it.

In July, I decided to learn to play guitar. I bought a Fender acoustic and enjoy strumming it when I’m agitated or just feel like showing off. πŸ˜‰ I met Chad and Christy and hit it off with them!

In September, Ivy came and stayed with me for about a week! That was such an awesome time, even though I had a kidney stone. THAT was not fun. I love Ivy and can’t wait to spend more time with her. I decided to stop Crosstrainers because the time commitment was incredible. I bought a notebook and fell in love with mobile computing.

In October, I went to Las Vegas for the first time and FELL IN LOVE with the city!!! I mean… it’s beautiful out there. I can’t wait to go back! I went through a corn maze also.

In November, I fell in love with my friends. I got to spend more time with Becky, Emily, and Bizzy and wow, those girls are all amazing. I am so blessed to know them. I got wireless internet!

In December, I had a blowout on the highway (tires, not poop). I had the best birthday ever. I had a wonderful party, go to have quality time with my friends, and did some brave things. πŸ™‚ I also enjoyed and hated the most amazing ice storm to ever hit. I scored over $500 in Best Buy gift cards and bought a new camera! πŸ™‚ I watched my son turn two years old and got to spend time with Charla!!

There were some trying times in 2004. Times when I didn’t want to endure another moment on this earth. Times that I argued like heck with God. Times that I came close to losing my faith. So many times. So many things.

What does 2005 have in store for me?

There are some definite things I want to do. Work on getting my writing out there. Hunt for a new job–one closer to my passion. Let go of some things. Reevaluate my priorities. Find my place in the world. Stop worrying so much, letting God have control.

We’ll see how much of that gets done.

Happy New Year.

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2004 Memories Survey

Everyone else is doing it, so why can’t I?

2004 Memories Survey

1. What did you do in 2004 that you’d never done before?
Got my driver’s license! Helped lead a life group for a while. Played volleyball in a pool. Went to Las Vegas! Started guitar lessons. Camped out.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept one. Can’t remember the rest. Wait, I don’t make resolutions…

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one really close, but lots of people I know did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Some financial sense. I need to learn to be cheap like Tyler. πŸ™‚

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Hmm, don’t really have one.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finishing another novel, getting my license.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Racking up more debt.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Depression.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My car, followed closely by my laptop.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
n/a

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
n/a

14. Where did most of your money go?
Clothes and electronics.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Easter retreat, Las Vegas, etc.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Hmm, any Avril song from Under My Skin, and I think Only One by Yellowcard.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? MUCH happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Um…are you talking about money or other things? πŸ™‚

18. What do you wish you’d done more?
Thought before making so many purchases. πŸ™‚

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Spending money!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With Aidan and Chris, probably.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Not really.

22. How many one-night stands?
NONE.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
The O.C.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

25. What was the best book you read?
I’m reading “Searching For God Knows What” by Donald Miller.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Oooo… Aria. Yes, Aria.

27. What did you want and get?
A laptop, and a guitar. A car. Lots of clothes and music and fun electronics.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the POA

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It hasn’t come yet! A week from today!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
MORE money, a job I felt passion for.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Trendy, but cute.

32. What kept you sane?
My friends. Writing. Computer time.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hmm, Adam Brody. <3

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Don’t even get me started. :[

35. Who did you miss?
Lots of people.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
OH MY GOSH. I cannot answer this question with just one person. So here goes: Kelly P, Emily, Bizzy, Becky, Rob, Garth, Tyler, Mr. Matt and if I am forgetting you please accept my apologies. (Tami, don’t even get all mad, I met you in 2003).

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
I don’t know…

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Hmmm. Let me get back to you. It’s bedtime.

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