ronni

Call Me A Nerd

15 November 2012 / ronni

I’m pretty sure I was the teacher’s pet when I was in 3rd grade. It was a good place to be. My teacher’s name was Ms. Oden and she was awesome. I genuinely loved her and loved doing well in school to please her. That kind of stayed ingrained in me, and I was proud of doing well. I remember I loved school and learning.

I had some difficulties in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade (4th and 5th, I was no longer the teacher’s pet and honestly, it hurt, and 6th, I just didn’t care anymore), but by intermediate school (what you folks mostly know as middle school), I was kind of a hot mess.

When I got to 7th grade, I realized how much it bothered me that I wasn’t one of the “cool kids.” It hurt to be called a nerd (and ugly, and ironing board chest, and horse nose and God knows what else). So I did stupid things like sabatoge my grades so I could be one of the “cool kids.” That was so stupid. All the cool kids went on to become valedictorians and stuff, and I had a hard time recovering from having backslid into bad study habits and a bad academic attitude.

But… there is hope for future generations. A really fun CD titled Call Me A Nerd.

I wish I’d had this CD around when I was going through all that bullcrap. I wanted to fit in so badly, it never occurred to me that:
1.) It wouldn’t make people like me more (because it sure as hell didn’t make them like me more–my nerdiness had very little to do with my 4.125 GPA and everything to do with the fact that I was awkward, ugly, and too skinny)
2.) I would be possibly jeopardizing my future so I could seem cool (WTF)
3.) It would take me years to figure out who the hell I really was

I’ve never been “cool”, and I don’t think I’m all that cool now, but I love my life and I love how I am and who I am. If only I’d known this back then…. except you couldn’t pay me anything to get me back to that time in my life. Hell to the no.

That’s where this CD can come in handy! Nip that kind of thinking in the bud so kids won’t go around doing stupid stuff to fit in or seem cool. The songs are uplifting and empowering, but they have that Phineas and Ferb vibe kids’ll love. It’s like the Free to be You and Me for the 21st century. But maybe way cooler. Which is ironic because it’s about being a nerd. But anyway, would you like a copy for your budding scholar? Of course you would. Listen to it here. You can buy it here, but lucky for you, I’m giving away a copy! So, how about you enter this here giveaway and try your luck? 🙂

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you win! 🙂

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Ten Days In….

10 November 2012 / life, pictures, ronni, yoga teacher training

Like my new bag? I got it from Jump From Paper. I love it.

I thought that October was going to be my crazy month, but it’s November that’s nuts! I haven’t had a full pajama day all month. OK, it’s only just ten days in, so not that big of a deal, but still. Wild.

Things are sort of calming down. I have a workshop all weekend (had one session tonight, have two sessions tomorrow, one session Sunday morning), and I have my last yoga teacher training class and potluck Sunday night. That should be fun. I went to my last video review Monday, also attended a business course, and Thursday night, I had my last anatomy class.

I will miss Ole Skelly.

Only ONE more intensive left. Anatomy of the Chakras with Tias Little. The intensives are hard for me. The days are very long (10am-530pm, with the exception of the last day, which is 10am-230pm), and the sheer amount of information pouring in is overwhelming and exhausting. But I like learning about the chakras, so it should be interesting. I’m thinking I’ll need to purchase a new notebook just for this intensive. OH DARN. What a sacrifice, having to buy a new notebook. 😉

I’m in the middle of my apprenticeship with Mia and with teaching my karma/community classes. I’m excited because Graham (a fellow trainee) is going to co-teach a few with me and THAT IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN. I get so nervous before I teach and even while I am teaching. A lot of is ego–I’m scared they won’t like me or that they’ll think I’m a hack. Some of it is that I am genuinely worried I’ll hurt someone or cause them to get hurt and that scares me. But there is risk anytime there is physical activity and the students have signed a release. Doesn’t make it less scary, though. I have a couple of regular students, though, so that’s neat. I think teaching with Graham will help my nerves and also make the class light and happy.

We held an election party Tuesday night. It was a lot of fun, especially because Aidan was in town for the event! Adam made this delicious stew and the cornbread complemented it perfectly. Yummy. Adam’s trick is that he uses a tomato-based broth. I think that goes so well with the sweetness of the cornbread and it’s just darn tasty! The link to the recipe is here. Aidan chopped most of the veggies, which he LOVED. He also helped make the cornbread.

Just got paid, so I will deposit that money, and once things calm down, I will really jump into holiday shopping. I’ve already started shopping for my mom, and I got ideas for Aidan that I put into an Amazon wish list here. My wish list is here. 🙂 Eee, I love buying presents! My favorite holiday season is almost here!!

But first, there will be Thanksgiving. I’m looking forward to it this year. We’re hosting Jeff and Deborah and hopefully our friend Jen as well. It’s going to be gooood. Turkey with all the trimmings, apple pie (there WILL be apple pie, the decision’s been made), good company, good times. So excited. Not only that, but teacher training stuff will have calmed down and all I’ll have is teaching and apprenticing for a while. It’ll be nice to be able to focus on the non-contact stuff for a while, like my thesis, book reviews, write-ups, etc.

But for now, I’m busy. But I’m blessed. And therefore, I’m happy.

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Fire and Grace

4 November 2012 / !, happy, life, pictures, ronni, yoga

As you know, I was blessed with another opportunity to study with Suzanne Sterling. I had the chance to study with her last year, and honestly, that workshop changed my life. This year, it was even BETTER!

There was singing, clapping, yoga, ecstatic dance, hugs, tears, and an amazing sense of community and bonding. Just letting go and being free was amazing. So much was moved in me this weekend. I came out buzzing, feeling remarkably lighter and freer. And my dreams were super vivid last night. Certain things I needed to let go of–I let go of them in my dreams. That’s not to say that something won’t trigger me again, but for now, I’m liberated of those bad feelings and I’m going to bask in it while it lasts!

She talked a lot about shatki: the yoga of sound. About how we, as humans, are self-wired for expression. In just about every non-westernized country, people are greeted with song and dance. Doesn’t matter if you speak the same language or not. People are united through music.

We’re always trying to regulate our nervous systems because we want to feel good. It’s why people eat chocolate cake, or smoke marijuana. And we’re hard wired to move trauma through our systems through expression. If you DON’T move that trauma, disease takes hold. In this country, we’re not really allowed to feel our traumas. We’re expected to do the “spiritual bypass” thing–locking the trauma away and being “fine.”

NO BUENO, FOLKS.

As Suzanne said, you need to do the “fuck you” before you can say “I forgive you.” You gotta go to those uncomfortable places and move it out. Dance with it–you’re always working. But you have to move it so it won’t become stagnant and more harmful.

Sound is a PHYSICAL thing. You can SHIFT a situation with sound! Sound affects respiration, heart rate, brain waves, and consciousness. We’re affected by sounds we can’t even hear. Shabda, yoga of the word, is immensely powerful. Mantras are powerful and can stay true or become true. They invoke a certain consciousness. So… let your mantras bring you abundance and light and love! Don’t say things to yourself like “You’re an idiot” or “You suck, you’ll never amount to anything.” Those are mantras and they’re very real, and they will manifest. Everything we say is out there. And once you admit to the universe that you’re ready for something, it will come. I have experienced this myself. Back in April of 2002, I said out loud “I wouldn’t mind becoming pregnant.” I kid you not, two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant with Aidan. The universe heard that and RAN WITH IT. So universe? I’d love my writing discipline back please and thank you. Still dreaming of hitting that NYT Bestseller list someday…..

One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie Imitation of Life, the second one. The maid, Annie, says “There’s no shame in looking prosperous. It just shows the good Lord you’re ready when He is.”

Doing yoga has made me WAY more sensitive to sound and the things that affect my environment. I do NOT like bars anymore. Too assaulting for me. Adam loves the show Breaking Bad, but I can’t watch it. Too much screaming. ANYthing with terrified or tortured screaming in it really affects me and I don’t like being exposed to it. I just unfollowed someone on tumblr for posting too many pictures of violence and blood. She can post whatever she likes. I don’t need to see it. Hammering, banging, pounding. All those sounds are so jarring to me and I just can’t stand them anymore. I don’t like any violent sound. But I also hate the sound of people chewing and people walking in shoes on hard floors. I don’t know what that says about me, but there you go.

The yoga practices were way more vigorous than I remembered, but that’s OK. I was able to keep up. I must have done well over 100 chantarungas this weekend. I know for an Ashtanga yogi, that’s nothing (they do hundreds in a single practice probably), but for me, that’s a lot! I feel much stronger now. And I welcomed the challenge. I want arms like Gabby Douglas. Those muscles aren’t going to get defined by themselves. 😉

Pushing myself to my edge–that place where there is sensation but not pain–is how I’m going to grow. And doing loads of chatarungas (safely, of course) and getting defined arms is just a physical manifestation of this practice. It works in life transformation as well. My authentic truth is finding it a bit easier to breathe tonight, which is wonderful because I’ve been tamping it down for many, many years. I feel the seeds of Suzanne’s teaching already working in me. My life is already being transformed. It feels great to surrender to it.

Go into the places that are uncomfortable.
Breathe there.
See what happens.

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What I’ve Been Up To

15 October 2012 / life, living in chicago, pictures, ronni, yoga teacher training

Hey there, hi there, ho there! Thanks to the folks who entered my giveaway. The winners have been contacted and all is well.

So how goes it? I’m aware that it’s been a while (ten days, exactly) since I’ve posted a “what’s up” kinda post, but I had good reasons.

1. I was temping in an office for a few days, and then I was working a lot from home.

2. I FINALLY got some macarons. I’d been craving them for months.

3. I discovered that I love Luna bars. Certain varieties of them are soooo good. I know, I have a problem. I love BARS. Those Trader Joe’s “A Blueberry Walked Into a Bar” cereal bars. Quaker granola bars and Dipps. Cocoa Puffs Treats. They’re so easy to eat. Easy to carry around with me. But at least Luna bars are 70% organic and have lots of vitamins and nutrients, so I don’t have to feel *as* guilty for loving them so much.

4. Saturday, I got the pleasure of studying with master teacher Seane Corn (and she is 10000x amazing) and I attended a master teacher roundtable with her as well.

5. Sunday night, I went to the 2012 Kellogg’s Tour of Olympic Champions show with my silver VIP ticket. I attended the Chalk Talk (pre-show Q&A) and had 4th row seats for the actual show. I also got a souvenir gold medal. I bought a program, a pin, and a leotard but I don’t know if I am brave enough to post it here. Although if you do some digging, you’ll be able to find it…

In the meantime, take a look some girls who definitely look amazing in leotards. You might recognize a few of them….

[more]

But there was one HUGE thing that pretty much consumed me. You see, I had my video review today. The video review is an important milestone in my yoga teacher training journey, and boy was I stressed out about it. Those of you who follow my personal facebook or my tumblr got to see firsthand my freakout sessions about it. The prep for it took a lot of time. Practicing, writing sequences, editing sequences, running the sequence out loud to myself in the shower, running it through my mind in the wee hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep and my bladder was constantly needing to be emptied and the cat was wailing outside the door. Yea, good times.

Because I wanted to do a good job. For numerous reasons. And so I got to the studio about 30 minutes before class started to help set up mats and props. People started arriving about 5-10 minutes before class. Those last ten minutes FLEW by. And then it was time for me to start. I taught the 30 minute opening sequence while Daren (my teacher) sat in the back taking notes on his laptop and Graham (one of my YTT classmates and Daren’s personal assistant) recorded us. There were three of us, 30 minutes each.

When I got to the front of the room, there were times when I just forgot myself. I forgot I was teaching. I just got in the zone. I stumbled over some words. Said some silly things. Used the word “just” wayyyy too much. But overall? HE SAID I WAS AWESOME. He said I exceeded his expectations. He gave me so many compliments, and the constructive feedback was very gentle. He has a really amazing way of delivering feedback that does not make you want to beat yourself up for messing up a cue or forgetting to do small things. I had on my Team USA leo under my shorts and Moksha tee-shirt, but only a few people knew it was there. I felt like it was a good luck charm. He told me that he thinks that teaching yoga is my dharma. (I plan to write a post on dharma sometime….)

At any rate, I PASSED MY VIDEO REVIEW, and now I get to teach eight karma/community classes to actual, paying customers. *gulp*

So… that’s what I’ve been up to these days. Now the the video review is done, I can let out a huge breath I’ve been holding, get a decent night’s sleep, and tackle my next to do list. Also, we’re going to Morton’s Arboretum this week. I’m super excited for that! Trees seem to be peaking so this will be awesome. Can’t wait to take lots of photos!

Til next time….

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