A Whole Lotta Nothin’

For some reason, I am incredibly tired. I’ve been this tired since yesterday. Aidan blessedly fell asleep in the car on the way home yesterday, so we cuddled in the recliner and slept. Well, I attempted to sleep. Unfortunately, a migraine hit and kept me from truly resting. Then the phone rang and rang. Chris got home and mowed the lawn. Aidan finally awakened and was cranky. Chris was on the phone for what seemed like hours. Aidan made me eat Meijer Brand Spaghetti Hoops with him but was still cranky and moody.

I tried to watch the first episode of Big Brother 6, but couldn’t after awhile. At 9ish I went and got ready for bed. Aidan and I took a bath together. I finally lay down at about 10:30ish or so. Slept in ’til a bit before 8am and still felt exhausted. Got to work late today due to a visit to the doctor. Oooh. Love that yearly visit (not so much).

So yeah, I’m still pretty tired but looking forward to the weekend regardless. Not truly sure what’s in store for me. Hopefully good things. I can’t believe how quickly July is going by already, but not quickly enough to those paydays!

Up Ahead…

July Schedule:
July 04 – Independence Day (Day Off!)
July 06 – Payday!
July 08 – Dr Appt 9:40am

July 09 – Housewarming party (?)
July 12 – The Grove
July 17 – HARRY POTTER!
July 20 – Payday!
July 26 – The Grove
July 27 – Katie P’s birthday
July 29 or 28 – Something special for Tyler
July 31 – Jolene’s baby shower

August Schedule:
August 01 – David moves to New York
August 05 – 5 year wedding anniversary
August 05 – Tyler moves to Denver
August 08 – Monica’s birthday
August 09 – The Grove Art’s Night
August 16 – OFF BOOK for Grove One Act
August 21 – Katie M’s birthday
August 23 – Grove One Act rehearsal/The Grove
August 30 – Grove One Act rehearsal

Whew.

Still dealing with a lot emotionally. I wonder if I don’t bring things on myself. I surely believe that all the stress manifests itself physically which is why the migraines have been sneaking in again. Can I get a BOO to that? There is so much that I’m feeling but I am too scared to pour it all out, especially on a Live Journal for goodness sakes.

Meh.

Gas is up to $2.39 a gallon for the cheap stuff. I got the Speedway card that gives you 2 cents off per gallon, but seriously, will that save me all that much money? Hmm. Maybe 20 cents per fill-up, I guess. Yeah, I suppose it adds up, huh? But my gosh. I can’t believe how the prices are going crazy–rumor has it that a gallon of gas will be $3 before long. Scary. I would totally dig a hybrid car.

So, um. Wow. This is a really boring entry. Honestly, nothing has been going on! Rob’s been out of town, Tyler’s been out of town, I’ve been tired, so yeah. Had small group Wednesday night. It was interesting, but not interesting enough to keep me awake. *hangs head in shame* Got to watch Rachel Ray on 30-Minute Meals and that was hilarious. Took note of MTV’s incorrect usage of an apostrophe for “The ’70s House.” (They had “The 70’s House” in that blue box that comes up next to the show when it’s going off). Fortunately, on the website, it looks as if the show is called “The 70s House” which is okay as far as I’m concerned. Craig and I got some good laughs out of it though:

Craig: Wow, 70 has a nice house!
Ronni: I didn’t even know numbers could own houses!

And eh? When did Britney Spears come out with a new song?

I need to wash my car! The problem? I haven’t actually really washed a car before. I always took mine to the car wash. Since I’m pinching pennies now, though, I’ve decided to wash it myself instead of paying $16.01 at that place I love so much. So the dilemna is: When do I do it? HOW do I do it? Should I wear a bathing suit? Oy. It’s going to be interesting, let me tell you.

Oh man. I am so not focused.

Later.

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I Think God is Trying to Reclaim Me…

Too many instances of Him calling me seem to be taking place. He knows everything in my heart, and He knows how much I need him. I know how much I need Him.

He’s revealing himself to me slowly but surely. Or maybe He’s being extreme about it, but I refuse to see.

He wants his daughter back. I know it. I FEEL it.

All I have to do is accept it. Accept it and be at peace that He is in control and that I can stop worrying about anything and everything. Especially those things.

So what’s holding me back?

Fear.

Stubborness.

Unwillingness to reliquish control.

I decided to do the most tedious of tasks–going through all of my LJ entries and tagging the ones that I felt needed to be tagged. It’s taking a long time, but I’m reading through some of the entries. I seemed so much happier then, so much more blessed. Or more accurately, more appreciative and aware of my blessings. What I wouldn’t give to feel that carefree and happy and full of hope and life and God’s love again. What I wouldn’t give for it to be even more pure, even more laden with good things for Him and from Him.

This phase of depression has already gotten old. I’m tired of the grey haze that seems to cover every aspect of my life, especially the good ones. The same grey haze that turns the bad things extra dark, yet, extra bright, so they’re magnified.

I feel like I am in the middle of a Spiritual Battle. God and Satan are battling it out for my soul. I am torn in the middle, not sure of where to go or who to run to. So I try to rely on myself. HA HAHA. What a mess I’ve made of that!

I need to rely on God. I wish I remembered how. 🙁

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Whoa.

The fireworks crazy neighbor strikes again!

Why this makes me happy:
I get to see awesome, amazing fireworks without the crowd or traffic. Better yet, without even leaving my front porch!

Why it’s crazy:
OMG those things are frikkin huge. I mean, holy wow. I did worry about some of our roofs…

The weird feeling I got from it:
I wished Chris had gone and bought some shells of his own. Or at least some Roman Candles. Those things are sweet. But he was off watching some other fireworks.

So it was pretty loud in our neighborhood for a while there. Neighbor next door with his huge beautiful fireworks (sky flowers per Land of the Dead), every one else setting off who knows what, and the Reynoldsburg fireworks not too far from us. It was nuts. But neat. And it felt nice outside, so that was cool too.

Off to read Harry Potter now. I am going through the series to be ready for Half Blood Prince. 🙂

Good night.

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Protected: Oh God…

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