Answer Me. Dang it.

YOU ALL HAD BETTER ANSWER THIS!!!!!!!!!

start guilt trip

I mean, I went through all the trouble of stealing these questions from chinkysdownyo, the least you could do is try to answer them and put your replies in my comments. ::angelic smile::

/end guilt trip

Pleeeassssseeee? I’m very interested in your responses.

1) What’s my *real* name?
2) Where did we meet?
3) How long have you known me?
4) How well do you think you know me?
5) Do I smoke?
6) Do I use narcotics?
7) What was your first impression of me?
8) What’s my age?
9) What’s my (natural) hair & eye color?
10) Have you ever had a crush on me?
11) What’s one of my favorite things to do?
12) What was one of the first things I said to you?
13) What is one of my favorite bands?
14) What’s my best feature?
15) Am I shy or outgoing?
16) Would you say I’m funny?
17) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
18) Any special talents I have?
19) Would you consider me a friend?
20) Have you ever seen me cry?
21) What would a good nickname for me be?
22) Am I in love? If so, who with?
23) Now, ask me a question here:
24) Say anything to me here:

THANK YOU! πŸ™‚ You have made my weekend! πŸ˜€

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Hesitation

Today has been a day of hesistation for me. Especially in my writing. In calling people. In wanting to do things. I feel like just lying around, watching TV, and just being a big lazy bums.

This happens when the weather starts to change. I know what’s going on. My “inner writer” in waking up. And when that happens, I want, more than anything, to lock myself up and scribble away. Or type, actually. But I’m scared of writing more than anything. It’s so very emotionally draining, so involved. And that kind of commitment scares me. But when I finish a story, I feel kind of let down. I’ve become attached to the characters. I find it hard to move on to a new story.

And I always wonder–WHY am I doing this? Will it ever make me money? It takes up so much time. Am I just wasting it? People (usually fellow writers) tell me it’s okay just to do it because I enjoy it. But I want to share my work. And I want to make money doing it. No, that isn’t my focus. I write because I HAVE to. I can’t not write.

My horoscope today was WAY too accurate:

You are in a rather defiant mood, but oddly enough, you really don’t want to make anyone angry. This funny mixture of energies is enough to make you quite restless. Try to honor both sides of your nature, both the compulsive joiner who wants to be a part of everything and the reclusive loner who’d rather stay home alone. Usually, you can work with both sides of this rather unique energy, but now it’s best to wait another day or two before jumping in to the fray.

Honestly, how do they know? I’m so conflicted. I miss my friends. But I don’t really have the energy (interest?) to call/IM/email anyone to make plans. Sometimes, I find myself tempted to go invisible on AIM again. THIS IS BAD! I cannot isolate myself again, I can’t. I won’t.

I always carry a lingering fear of rejection. I can tell myself a million times it doesn’t matter if I never hear from this person, or if that person already has plans, and I know darn well it’s not true. ‘Cause I have this stupid sensitive nature that takes things personally even when they might not be.

But whatever.

I’m very excited the weekend is nearing. This has been a long week. I’ve gotten used to taking 1 or 2 days off for one reason or another. It’s hard to get back into the swing of things. But I’ve been doing fine. Finishing my To Do lists before 10am every morning (this is with arriving late due to my chiro appts). Just knocking out the work. I love that. I love checking off lists and cleaning out my inbox. Gives me a major sense of accomplishment.

I don’t have any plans this Saturday. It’s kind of weird to think of a Saturday where I’m not going somewhere with someone or hanging out. It’s kind of bittersweet. I’m feeling that weird mixture of loneliness with desperation for ME time and it just doesn’t make much sense. Or maybe I just want to hang with a girlfriend and not have to worry about watching Aidan for once. That never happens anymore.

I’m ready for the (work) day to be over! Restless? Oh yes, I am restless. I don’t even know for what. It’s not as if I have something big going on tonight. Just a trip to Meijer and then home. Again. Alone. *sigh* See, here we go again.

Argh. I’m done!

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Mean People Suck

So today, I was driving down Broad Street. The speed limit was 55 MPH, and the person in front of me was meandering along at 45 and there was no changing his mind. So, I saw a LONG stretch of clear road and dotted lines on the street and started to pass. This TRIPLE JERK decided to speed up, and NOT let me pass him, and I had to inch my way in between him and the oncoming car so as not to cause a triple accident. Wouldn’t it have been nicer just to a.) drive the bleeding speed limit in the first place or b.) let me go around? The guy was obviously a first-class asshole and probably wanted me to be in the accident so he could laugh. JERK!!

But in other news, here are my quotes for the day:

Monica (Lilia’s 8? year old niece in regards to her uncle Dan): He is a very rude person with bad manners.

From Howard Stern show this morning (DON’T ASK why I was listening to that):
In regards to something gross –
Man: I almost couldn’t finish my Pop-tarts and rootbeer!
Robin: I see you did, though.

So why did I have a dream that a bunch of us folks from church invaded Craig’s house (which naturally, wasn’t really his house) and his mom was there and there were 2 rooms with tables filled with food–I’m talking like THANKSGIVING spreads??? It was crazy, man. I felt bad for invading Craig’s house (unannounced) even though it was just a dream.

Freaky.

Speaking of freaky, my friend Tyler been online for an entire fortnight. Check this out (screen name blurred to protect his privacy):

Has anyone broken this record? I’m amazed his computer ran so long without the connection hiccuping or something like that. Of course, he doesn’t have a 19 month old running around and turning PCs on/off at random and he also doesn’t have a PC. That may have something to do with it.

Random Funny IM

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I love getting stuff!

Imitation of Life and Newsies came today! WOOHOOO!!!! Plus a book I’d been wanting forever, and I got a water bottle from one of my survey places! YAY for me and YAY for packages!

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