Month: February 2005

I Survived

…and I didn’t even cry. At any rate, I’m still looking for a new job. I need to be doing something profound, not just a bunch of tasks for other people. Ugh. I got an achieves, a small raise, and I’m getting a tiny bonus (thanks to the hurricanes, over $1,000 less than last year’s bonus). It’s over, and I plan to be somewhere new in 6 months. I HAVE to do it.

Oh SNAP!

This was my horoscope for today:

Ronni,
This Full Moon in Virgo squares your Sun sign, which adds a bit of stress to already problematic situations. There really isn’t much you can do now that will impact your day, but paying attention to your feelings will help you to get you through this little storm. Don’t give up just as everything starts to shift. It’s not about dramatic change. It’s about acknowledging your own needs to those around you.

SO TRUE, SO TRUE! πŸ™‚ I stood up for myself. The second day in a row. I’ve been doing that a lot more this year. Ironically, it definitely wasn’t one of my resolutions. But I like it. I’m tired of cowering.

You know those stories of how the teachers put kids in the “special ed” classroom because they don’t seem to “get it?” I feel like that at work. I don’t “get it” because my skills are NOT proficient for that position. They’re meant for something else and I carry a lot of guilt because I feel like I’m wasting my talents. Talent wasting pisses God off. I just wish He’d give me a job where I can USE the darn things…and in the meantime, I suck at work because my heart is in something else. πŸ™

Anyway.

PowerPoint class was SO MUCH FUN! Oh my gosh. I forgot how much I love learning and how much I love PowerPoint and all that stuff. I learned so many neat things! I can’t wait to put it to use. More than likely, I’ll be doing most of it for The Grove. Woohoo.

So, I told Chris I wanted prime rib for dinner and he said “Okay.” So yeah. I’m going to have to eat some meat.

He don’t eat no meat? What do you mean he DON’T EAT NO MEAT?”

^ What movie is that from? I’ll bet you don’t know. Even though it’s one of the best lines (in that film), I think.

OH! Guess what??! I’ve been a licensed driver for one year and two days now. All the more reason to celebrate.

I want to go shopping. But I truly have nothing I need to buy. Well, that’s not exactly true. We need dishwasher soap desperately. And I would like more composition books.

I just finished reading a book called Teen Idol by Meg Cabot. She wrote The Princess Diaries. Teen Idol was a fun read. Haha, I sound like a reviewer. Maybe I will go and review it….

Aidan is so cute. He’s talking so much now. He can say “people, please” (when he wants to watch Little People), and he knows eyes, ears, noses, mouths, tummies, feet, eyebrows, cheeks. He’ll point to them and recite their names. πŸ™‚ He is amazing, I love asking him questions and getting actual answers! He’s getting so big and I need to post more pictures, don’t I?

Okay then. Almost RED MEAT time. Later!

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GRRR

It’s nearly 3am.

I can’t sleep.

I have to wake up in fewer than four hours for work.

I feel sick.

When I lie down, I cough my head off.

I’m getting a migraine.

My heart is racing at more than 100 MPH.

My mind is going even faster.

If I take tomorrow today off, my boss is likely to fire me on the spot.

How am I going to manage a full workday and taking care of Aidan in the evening? πŸ™

I’m going to be so tired.

The more I think about it, the more anxious I become.

Maybe I can get away with taking 1/2 day, but I doubt it.

I’m taking Benadryl at 7pm so I can be sleepy by 9pm, and then I’m going to sleep the entire night through.

I think I know why I’m feeling so cruddy and anxious and overly excited and like I’m running on an overdose of speed or something.

But no one believes me.

I can’t get help if no one believes me.

So I guess I’ll deal.

*sigh*

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I Have a Headache

Skipped church again. I did plan on going today, but the timing was all off so rather than rush, I decided to stay home. It’s easier that way.

Highlights of my day:
– Lunch with Becky and seeing her dorm room! The time with her went WAY too quickly. MUST MAKE IT A PRIORITY to spend more time with Becky!!
– Bible Study. It’s always awesome, and Megan (megnita) was there!!! YAY! πŸ™‚
– Seeing Katie P (live4himalways).
– Seeing Monica.
– Awesome deals at Target: yoga mat $11.99, composition books 97 cents for example.
– Buying a new Young Adult novel.
– Phone calls from Bizzy (otaku_witch). <3 Lowlights of my day: - This headache. Ow. πŸ™ - Chris getting 2 flat tires. - Getting lost on the way from Denison to Heritage. - Finding that I'd locked Lucy in the guestroom and she'd pooped on the floor. - Lucy puking on the floor in front of the guestroom to get back at me. Man, I'm kind of tired. But now it's time to eat. Max & Ermas, here I come! (If Aidan cooperates, that is).

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Unexpected Fun & Other Stuff

Catching up with Chad and Christy, lunch at Logan’s Roadhouse (yay, got my steak craving satisfied!), a bit of shopping at Old Navy, seeing Rob at Auntie Anne’s, good times at Gameworks (Happy Birthday, Jenny E!)–definitely some last minute fun I didn’t anticipate when I woke up this morning.

Even though Aidan’s mood swings were less than desiring–in fact, he’s still in the other room having a fit but he won’t let Chris or me near him–I still had a good time playing some games, especially that Balloon Game thingy. Didn’t get to play DDR, the lines were way too long and the kids playing were way too good. I wasn’t about to wait all that time to embarrass myself!

Eh…Aidan is crying and crying. He’s hanging his head and sounding so pitiful, but anytime one of us tries to help him, he gets FURIOUS and pushes us away and runs off! What does one do in that kind of situation? Right now, I’m just leaving him and letting him have his moment. Oh Lordy, I’m never having another child. I can’t stand these situations. The crying, the helplessness. πŸ™

At least I have lunch with Becky to look forward to tomorrow! πŸ™‚

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