Day: June 11, 2005

After The Shower…

Mmm, now that I’m all fresh and clean (and starving!) I can think more clearly.

I really do feel like there are two of me anymore. The me who is starting to get fed up with certain things and is vowing to take steps, but the old me. And that’s confusing when I don’t even know who I am or who I want to be.

I guess I’m just dealing with a lot, which really isn’t that much. I really am more cheerful now because the house is coming together. Clutter is horrible, it closes in on me and makes me feel suffocated. Which in turn makes me feel stressed and cramped and cranky. So now that there are open spaces again, I feel better. I know some of my entries haven’t reflected that, but you know.

So yes. The master bedroom and bathroom are clean! Aidan’s room is clean! I moved the bookshelf from the guestroom into the master bedroom, and now all the books that are residing in my room have a home instead of being stacked on the floor. I can keep my library books together so I wont have to worry about losing any. I even cleaned out my bags and purses! All of them!! I made the bed, put away some of my laundry. Wheeeee!

Then I took a shower. Now I smell yummy.

So, the time sensitive thing for a certain someone MAY be even MORE time sensitive and crucial now.

THAT SUCKS! On lots of levels! But I’ll deal.

Hmm. I’m reading this book called “Life In The Fat Lane” by Cherie Bennett. Everyone who sees me reading it and cares enough asks me why I’m reading a book about fat people. Then the hinting at eating disorders remarks come. If only they knew…

Speaking of eating. I’m starving. So I should go and do that. Later…

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Radical Change

The people-pleasing Ronni is gone.
She should have never existed.
It’s time for a healthy, empowered, dream-chasing, assertive Ronni to come to light.
One who won’t take crap from people.
One who will stand up for herself.
One who will no longer try to get people to like her by not being who she truly is.
One who will no longer pretend.
One who will no longer have time for those who treat her as if she’s “better than nothing” or a nice backup plan.

Maybe you won’t like the new Ronni.
Too bad.

Deal with it or go away.

However….
This does not mean I’m going to turn into a total bitch. But no longer will I go out of my way to impress those who couldn’t care less about me.
No longer will I keep quiet to appease others. I’m tired of people thinking they can interrupt me when I’m talking, knocking my ideas without giving them a fair shot, shoot down my choices because I’m not behaving in the way THEY think I should, or making the choices they think I should be making. I’m tired of being controlled and treated like a child.

It’s time I start standing up for myself.

My counselor once said to me “Don’t let anyone treat you in a way you wouldn’t want Aidan to be treated.”

It’s time to take her guidance to heart.

—-

**Disclaimer**
This was not directed at any particular person or group of people. But if you found yourself getting defensive, maybe there is a good reason why, perhaps having nothing at all to do with me. It’s just time that I grew up.

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So, Moving On… (Pictures)

After some weird entries, it’s time for a more Ronni-like entry, yes?

My Friday was pretty good. My boss has me working on a Power Point which is fun, fun fun. Creativity is always a happy thing for me. The day went pretty quickly. Traffic was GOOD for once! I mean, wow.

I got Aidan then went to the chiropractor. That’s where the hold up started. I was there for 40 minutes because she decided to adjust a million people before going over my X-rays with me. That kind of irritated me. So, I’m down to once a week, but I think that once my tractioning is over, I’m going to discontinue. The cost is significantly reduced, but I need to pay that credit card off and I HATE driving out there in the traffic and rush hour! I did have my evalation and that reverse curve in my neck is almost fixed. Yay.

Threw a little something-something for Tyler’s birthday. It was like a typical Friday Night (TM) but with a few more people and more sweets. Here’s the birthday boy himself (with his new sweet camera):

Apparently, the party was too boring for Becky:

Just kidding. She’s used to a 9:30pm bedtime these days, so she was pretty conked out.


A close up of Brian.

We had spaghetti and watched Momento. What a weird movie. Great writing and cinematography, though.

So now it’s Saturday and I have no plans. I need to get an oil change, but I think I will wait til next payday for that. The bills are kicking my a$$ and I also got stuff at Meijer. So now I guess I’ll start to clean my contribution to the mess in my bedroom. And be amused that Aidan is putting on moon boots when it’s really bloody hot outside! Then I think I’ll work on some computer and non-computer projects. Yippee. :)

See ya later!

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