work

Slighty Drugged, But That’s Okay

/ life, work

Took a Tylenol PM to get me relaxed so I’d fall asleep tonight, and not lie awake worrying and stuff like that.

Just over 19 days until Christmas. Man, I can’t believe I’m counting down. What a dork I am.

Watched some of Newsies today. I used to have such a crush on Aaron Lohr (who played Mush). He’s grown up to be pretty hot still, but the thing is–he looks like how Aidan might look in 12 years, and that’s just creepy. Needless to say, my crush on Aaron Lohr is now gone, but it is SO MUCH FUN to sing and dance to the musical numbers in that movie. I love King of New York and Seize the Day.

Work is getting busy, finally. Handwriting stuff piles up quickly, plus I’m helping J with her leveled readers. I get to do one on Hull House soon! Hull House is the scariest point on the ghost tour in Chicago, so I am very interested in doing the leveled reader on that. In addition, I will be writing the style guide for the English-Language Learner teacher pages for Handwriting. Me, writing a style guide!! I am nervous–I’ve never written one before, and this will be for REAL BOOKS that teachers will use, so yes, I’m a little bit nervous, but excited to take on the challenge. Eeee!

Read about Leukemia in the leveled reader I worked on today. There was a picture of the sweetest little red-head boy. He looked so … resigned. He had curly hair, soft, big curls, and this beautiful little face. He reminded me so much of Aidan, and I just started praying and thanking God that Aidan was healthy and didn’t have to suffer like that adorable little boy. I pray that Aidan will ALWAYS be healthy. My heart broke for that sweet child.

Anyway…OH MY GOD??!? Adam Brody is back on the market?? HOT DAMN!!!! But wow, three years. And they still have to work together! Awkward, much??! Well, maybe not. If they’re still friends, it could be fine.

I’m hungry. I had a VERY small dinner and I should probably eat something else, but it’s so late already. Plus, I don’t even know what I want, besides things that’ll take HOURS to cook. I’m just not feeling that patient.

I must clean tomorrow. Dishes, Lucy’s litter box, take out the trash. Yippee.

Drivers in Columbus. Especially as you near the suburbs. DRIVE, DAMMIT! That’s what I yell at them in my car! Everyone is so overly cautious here, and it doesn’t even make a difference because they still get into 328947389 accidents! I can’t believe I live in a city where so many people insist on driving at least 5 MPH below the speed limit. Usually, it’s 10 or so. Yesterday evening, I ended up behind a yahoo who was going 35 in a 50, nothing in front of him/her, and the person STILL kept braking every few hundred or so feet. What the hell?? I finally got around that person. There was NO REASON for this person to be driving that slowly, except to aggravate ME. That HAS to be it.

And… I keep getting stuck behind the slow pokes when I am on the freeway, and when I am in positions where I can’t change lanes. For example, the lane to pass is chock full of cars, or even more common, I need to be in the lane I’m in because my exit is coming up and there is a good chance that I’d miss it while trying to pass the slow pokes.

Oh well. C’est la vie, I suppose. Ooh, Bon Vie sounds yummy right now…. okay, just about anything involving chicken and/or rice and/or green beans sounds good right about now. But nah, too late.

You know what? I have some amazing friends. Just thought I’d mention that. That way, I can remember it too.

Bedtime for me. Ciao! 🙂

Comments Off on Slighty Drugged, But That’s Okay

Potluck Entry (Pictures)

/ aidan, food, life, pictures, ronni, work, writing

Writing.
Still hiding from the writing world. It’s really, really, really hard for me to see people getting book deals, multiple book deals, great feedback and moving forward while nothing’s happening for me. I can’t write–I get a mental block every time I try, topping out at about 10,000 words before I give up. My ideas fizzle out. I start thinking that it’s going to suck anyway so why bother. And I file the document away. Another failure.

I keep hoping it’ll happen for me one day, but that hope is seriously diminishing, and I think that maybe it might not be in the stars for me. I know I have talent, but the people who pay don’t want to read what I have to write, even if it is good writing. That’s a very depressing thought. Since I’ve been so shielded from that world, I haven’t had to worry about the bitter feelings and things, but sometimes, someone pulls me in, and I see their successes, and I get that bad feeling in the middle of my torso–like in that hollow in my breastbone or whatever–and I just get reminded of how I’m going nowhere. It’s hard to keep going.

I’m really seriously considering giving up on ever being published. I don’t have the kutzpah to try anymore.

Aidan.
You’ve seen my updates on him. 🙂 He’s so smart. “Mommy, look! This is hilarious!” Except, his Ls are Ws, so he says “This is hiwarius!” He’s overwhelming, though. I’m drained at the end of the day, and as you all know, I spend almost every evening with him. He demands a lot, he doesn’t always listen, and I have a hard time getting him to pick up after himself. Raising a child is HARD.

Aidan & Scooby Doo!

He’s REALLY good at computer games, and memory/concentration type games. I mean, really good. He knows things that most kids don’t know until kindergarten, if I am not mistaken. For example, he knows his left from his right. He knows near and far, short and long. And when he’s not being bratty (which fortunately, isn’t often), he’s very affectionate. He likes to play games and pick the wrong answers on purpose. And there’s this one sound in the Backyardigans game that he knows drives me crazy, and he likes to play it really loudly then laugh at me when I freak out.

Boys.

Work.
We just relocated to a new building. The outside of the building is WEIRD, but the work space is pretty sleek. Too dang COLD for my taste (I need to get an electric heater STAT), but I think it looks very modern and cool. Here’s a picture of where I sit:

Work

Yes, that’s a Barbie lunchbox! Heehee. My United Way one is sticky and gross, so yeah. You can see proofs that I work on, my proofing board, all sorts of things. I like the space–it’s nice and bright. But there is a lot of traffic where I sit which can make it hard to concentrate. Usually I stick on my headphones and get lost in my music, though. And there’s the FREEZING MY BUTT OFF aspect of it. Otherwise, it’s okay, as long as I have plenty of work to do.

Me.
Up until yesterday, I was an emotional wreck. Roller coaster like crazy. But now I feel like ME again, which is a VERY GOOD THING. I don’t like feeling out of control crazy like that.

Preparing for something BIG. Won’t say much more about that for now.

Got my first ever flu shot today!! Oh my. The part I hated was when the nurse was actually injecting the medicine in. I don’t mind the initial prick. I actually rather like it. It’s the other part that sucks. But it’s over. The spot is a little sore, but nothing I can’t handle. And anyway, this is nothing compared to the FLU. Ugh. It’ll be nice not to get it for once.

I’ve been craving Chinese food lately. Beef and snow pea pods, mostly. And rice. Lots of rice. I used to hate Chinese food. I still don’t care for too much of it, so for me to crave it is very strange. Other cravings I’m having:

– Spaghetti w/Eckridge hotdogs (which were buy 1 pack get 2 packs free at Meijer!);
– Japanese Steakhouse (hibachi steak, ginger salad, rice with ginger sauce, bean sprouts);
– Steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, roll with lots of butter;
– Sausage McMuffin w/egg, hashbrown;
– An ice cream soda from Margie’s Candies (or whatever that place in Chicago is called);
– Double chocolatey chunk Rice Krispy treats;
– This:
Thanksgiving Dinner 2005

I should go eat now. Guess which ones on the list I’ll have. Tee hee. ‘Til next time….

Comments Off on Potluck Entry (Pictures)

Friday…!!

/ books, life, work, writing

Yesterday, I read The Giver by Lois Lowry. And like a fool, I started crying, right there in my cubicle. I swear, I’ve cried more in the past month I’ve been there than I have the entire six years I was at Nationwide. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But WOW. That book just gripped me. I remember Lois Lowry’s Anastasia books. I loved those books. But The Giver. Wow. She’s versatile and sooo good. Soooo good.

I’ve been reading a LOT at work. Since I’m working on the Literature and Character Education (LACE) teacher guides, it’s important for me to know the material in the books. OH DARN, right? SUCH a hardship. Getting paid to READ, right? Seriously, I cannot complain. Except for the fact that I read too damned fast! I need to slow down. Some days I manage to make it through two books AND the LACE guides.

What else? Oh yes. My doctor put me on a medication for my headaches and BOY DOES IT MAKE ME SLEEPY. He told me to take it before bed, which I did. But I had a hard time keeping my eyes open today. I was so cold so I had the hot thing and I was drinking cocoa and once that stuff took effect, I felt all fuzzy and warm. It was hard to stay awake.

Speaking of cold… there was snow here yesterday! Lots of flurries. Lots and lots. Kind of exciting, but then again, not really. Although I did enjoy getting out my cute scarf and hat and gloves.

I’m so glad it’s Friday! I really am. Two days of not getting up when it’s still dark out. Nice.

Last night, in my drug-induced post-sleep haze, I started thinking of the church I used to go to when I was in college. The St. Thomas More Newman Center. There are people there who were there when I used to go there!! Wow, such a long time ago, the Catholic me. But you know, there is a little bit of her still in me, the current me.

I’ve been on a MADONNA kick lately! I don’t know what my deal is, but I’ve been listening to loads of Madonna. I guess it’s just time for that phase in my life.

Writing. Sigh. Even though I’m on a break, of course it’s calling me. However, I stay out of the professional loops and things–I’ve really cut myself off from that world, because hearing of everyone else’s success is just highlighting my failures and it makes me depressed and bitter and angry, not to mention jealous–so yeah, it’s a good thing I’m keeping away from the writing world for now. It’s really hard to see everyone else moving ahead, while I stay stuck. 🙁

Anyway.

Happy Friday, people! 😀

Comments Off on Friday…!!

I Don’t Really Want to Post

/ books, life, work

I don’t really want to post, but I feel compelled to.

Firstly, I want to tell everyone to friend Andy (crimsonghost_oh), one of my best friends for… well, the number of years is in the double digits (*feels old*). He just got a LJ, so go say Hi.

Secondly, work is draining me. Not because it’s hard. Oh no. So far it’s been too EASY. I’ve been doing Handwriting and LACE. The LACE stuff I love, because it has some meat to it and introduces me to some great children’s books. The one I read yesterday, Grandma’s Records, actually had me in tears. I’ve never cried over a picture book before. But the story is beautiful and the illustrations (also done by the author) are out of this world.

But the Handwriting. There MIGHT be five or six lines of text to a page. And I get finals, so most of the big, glaring errors are gone. It really only takes me a couple of hours to do Handwriting proofs, but the work is so scarce and the due dates are sooo far ahead, that I try to stretch things out as long as I can. Unfortunately, that makes me REALLY nit-picky and drained by the time, oh say, 11am rolls around. I like copyediting, but I wish there was more. I wonder if I’ll want to take that back in a few weeks.

Anyway, enough about that.

I booked my ticket for Philadelphia in November. I can’t believe I’m actually travelling for a concert. My mom would never let me do that as a teen. But I really would like to see Dylan do his new songs and he doesn’t appear to be coming to Columbus anytime soon. It’ll be fun, and yet another city to add to my Many Travels of Ronni log. Not that I had one, but maybe I should start one.

Right now, I’m reading Burned by Ellen Hopkins. It’s blowing my mind. Only this year have I started reading free verse novels. The emotion in them is so intense. I would LOVE to be able to write a free verse novel. I tried, but I can’t do it on a computer. I think I’ll need a journal to do it.

Oh darn. Like buying a journal is such a tragedy for me. 😉

That’s all for now, I guess. ‘Til next time.

Comments Off on I Don’t Really Want to Post