seriously up insanely late
mind is racing at an incredible rate
stomach jumping and slightly sick
craving that ‘grape juice’ with a kick

body aches for more than some rest
tired of trying to be the best
sick of living for someone else
desperate, so desperate to find myself

at age 30, this is sad and old
should have an idea of what life’s to unfold
closing my eyes to see a dream never true
knowing and hating what i have to do

obliteration, numbness, blissful dark sea
fighting the wicked desires of me
wanting to run away from it all
but back to reality for duty calls

back to my life as i know it today
fumbling around trying to make my way
no idea if God even sees
this daughter of his, brought to her knees

Called In

So, Aidan didn’t go to sleep until after 4am. Remind me to NEVER nap with him after 5pm again. Chris was sick, so he didn’t/couldn’t really help with him. I was supposed to be up for work in about 90 minutes, but I called in and told them that I wasn’t going to be in due to those two males in my family. There is no way I’d be much help to either of them at this point.

I’m going to try to reschedule my counseling too–I NEED to get in there this week and I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it tomorrow. I mean today. In 7 hours, bloody hell.

Where does the time go? I can’t believe I’m still awake. I wonder if I’ll ever get my sleeping pattern back on track. If it ever was on track.

*sigh* Goodnight?

Holy Crap

I totally can’t sleep and I have to be up in 3 hours for work. Then after work is get Aidan, go straight to the chiro, then small group. Chris is sick, Aidan is still awake. Family Illness Day, anyone?

Mm yeah, it has to be done. I won’t be able to function properly otherwise.

Night owl syndrome. Darn it all to heck.

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