seriously up insanely late
mind is racing at an incredible rate
stomach jumping and slightly sick
craving that ‘grape juice’ with a kick

body aches for more than some rest
tired of trying to be the best
sick of living for someone else
desperate, so desperate to find myself

at age 30, this is sad and old
should have an idea of what life’s to unfold
closing my eyes to see a dream never true
knowing and hating what i have to do

obliteration, numbness, blissful dark sea
fighting the wicked desires of me
wanting to run away from it all
but back to reality for duty calls

back to my life as i know it today
fumbling around trying to make my way
no idea if God even sees
this daughter of his, brought to her knees