Self-Doubts

I saw this on Sarah Dessen’s (writergrl) blog today:

Speaking of books, right now, I am reading Middlesex, and it is so good I don’t want it to end. Why can’t all books be this good? In fact, why can’t MY books be this good? Oh, well.

SHE doubts her work? Oh my. Here I am, one who practically worships her, and there she is, wishing she could be even better?

I try not to doubt my work anymore. It’s so hard, even though I have one of the best agents out there. Ethan knows what he’s doing. The man has been in the business for over twenty years, so I would think he knows good writing. And he believes so much in my book. So why can’t I cling to that and be okay? The thing is…it’s not unheard of for people to get an agent but to never sell a book. I really feel like I’ll be letting him down if ONLY YOURS does not sell. Not to mention how crushed I’ll feel.

I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. I’m still working on a new novel. I’m learning all I can about the industry. But in the back of my mind, I wonder if anyone will want to take a chance with my book. It would be groundbreaking and definitely different than what’s out there, and an established author could get away with it. But will a publisher take a chance with an unknown?

I am so scared. :(

Okay, I know it hasn’t even been a month since he began submitting, but I’m still freaking out–checking my email like whoa, keeping my cell phone close. I want this so badly, but what if no one wants me, or my work?

**Sigh**

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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