Month: October 2005

Get Down Girl, Go Head Get Down (Pictures)

Last Monday, around 1:45pm, I started to get sick. My throat hurt, and I got progressively weaker as the day progressed. By Tuesday morning, I was so fog-headed that I called off work. For some reason, Chris decided not to take Aidan to the sitter, so I had to watch him all day guarenteeing me NO rest. I was not happy. The Grove was Tuesday night, and although I felt like a big sack of poop, I dragged myself there because if I didn’t show, there would be no Power Point! After a few minor mishaps, I got the hang of that Live Worship program and everything went off without a hitch. It was nice being in the mezzanine because I wasn’t feeling particularly social.

Wednesday, I stayed home again. This time, Aidan went to his grandmother’s and I slept for hours. It felt great. I also got to skip a day of meetings at work. During Life Group, Craig gave me a HUGE bag of assorted Reese’s candies. That made me smile. But I started to feel so crappy that we left early, and I climbed right into bed. I knew I couldn’t take another day off of work, I was going to be way behind. And I was right. Thursday was horrible because I wasn’t feeling all that great and I had SO MUCH work to do. :( I had to skip lunch and rush and answer 384798 questions and there was so much paperwork and so many files and how could I have forgotten about all the crap that was due on Tuesday, the day I missed? ACK. Friday was better though, and I even took lunch. It felt good when someone said “now here’s a face we haven’t seen in a while!” :)

Friday night, I hung out at Jennifer’s (maids). She lives WAY in the country and I was looking forward to trying to photograph the meteor shower. Unfortunately, it rained and was overcast. So much for the astrological photo shoot. So Jennifer and I went to Best Buy where Aidan threw a major fit. We left Best Buy pretty quickly, and headed to Skip’s Family Restaurant which was SUPER YUMMY. Then we went to Target. I had way too much fun there. I bought one of those combination ceramic flat/curling irons. I really like it. Ceramic is awesome, and it heats up so quickly. Yummy flatirons.

Anyway, back to Jennifer’s we headed, where we exchanged music and acted silly with our computers. Our song for the night was “Goldigger” by Kanye West. GOOD TIMES, let me tell you. Honestly, we each lose 15 IQ points when we get together. It’s so fun.

Saturday, I slept most of the day (relapse of the sickness) while Chris took Aidan to his parents where they watched the Ohio State game. And just let me say that my son is OBSESSED with the Buckeyes. Locally, there is a remix of Hollaback Girl put to some OSU band music. It’s pretty sweet. Aidan makes me play it over and over and over and over. You should check it out. Get it here: CLICK!

Saturday night, we went to Chris’s High School reunion. It was interesting to see all these people he’d talked about over the years. I had a good time, actually. Especially when they played “Pour Some Sugar On Me.” I happen to LOVE that song. Oh yes. And…a really pretty girl said that she and her friend were saying “Chris’s wife is HOT.” HAHA. :) I must admit, I did look cute, especially here:

The Johnstown High class of 1995 – 10 years later.
Chris is the red-eyed dork in the back center. HA.
And believe it or not, the girl on the floor in the white top has FIVE children. Isn’t it freakin’ amazing how great she looks??

Sunday, we went to church and came home and lazed around. I made Chris cook his YUMMY chili for lunch, but it gave me terrible heartburn. :( Chris hooked his computer back up and we had to jump through some hoops to get it set up properly. I relaxed and Aidan relaxed and it was good. We all went to bed fairly early.

Yesterday was busy as all bananas at work!!! It was crazy. Being a tracker of about 3487389 different projects is hard and more and more are coming. In addition, proofs are coming and filing will need to commence VERY SOON and say, the copy machine and I are going to become very close. Today wasn’t as bad, but tomorrow is meeting day. :( I’m honestly going to look into bowing out of some of them–I have way too much to do to be sitting in meetings all day.

What is up with iTunes, coming out with updates every other day it seems? And honestly, does it HAVE to make me install Quicktime every single time??? *sigh*

Jennifer and I are DORKS

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Fear of Writing and Sharing

I don’t update this journal nearly enough as I should–which could only mean one thing: that I am NOT working on my writing. :(

The problem is FEAR. I fear that I will lose the ideas rushing around in my head. Twice, I’ve dived into new projects only to have them fizzle after about 20-40 pages. And then I ask myself–how can I possibly be a writer?

Several weeks ago, an email went out at work asking people to submit writings for display for the employee art show or something of that sort. I submitted a poem and completely forgot about it until today, when the boss of my boss asked me if I’d submitted the poem that was downstairs. My memory quickly retrieved that bit of information and I told her yes. “I had no idea you were a poet,” she said, looking at me with … admiration? She told me the poem was really good. I often forget that I have a poetic nature–I mean, let’s face it, poetry is not *that* popular, and my poetry tends to be very personal–usually written when I am very sad and overwhelmed by it. I don’t share it a lot.

To hear someone who has worked in editing and publishing for probably several years compliment me on my poetry made me feel good. I AM a writer, dammit.

If only I would just WRITE.

I want to write. The desire keeps me awake at night. My heart races as I am driving and picking up things here and there–letting this character grow in my mind. But when it comes down to it, I stop myself. I worry that I’m going to lose my momentum and thus toss another great potential story to the wayside.

Then I read. I read and read and read and feel that inspiration bubbling up in me again. And I want to write. But I don’t. It’s a vicious circle–I love it so much so WHY do I hold myself back from doing it? Why can’t I shut that dang inner critic up who keeps telling me the story sucks, not to continue?

Does anyone else find it this hard?

And rejections. Am I the only aspiring author that kind of gets them and thinks (for the most part) “Oh well, next time.” It seems that a lot of aspiring authors get kind of broken up over them. Only one actually nearly reduced me to tears–the others really did not. Of course, I do feel a bit disappointed. But I keep hoping for some reason. It’s very strange. I know the novel I am shopping around will be a HARD sell. I NEED an agent. And so many authors say to keep plugging, not to give up. I am always tempted to give up for about 36 hours after I get a rejection–but of course, I simply cannot. I guess that means I kind of believe in my work, huh?

Well, I must go. The cats are desperate to get into my bedroom (for whatever reason) and I’m going to get a shower, then ATTEMPT to write something.


(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Damned insomnia strikes again….

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A Good Weekend.

Just Thinking...
Just Thinking…,
originally uploaded by & Banana Girl!!.

Today, Bizzy, Chris, Aidan and I went to The Dawes Arboretum and Black Hand Gorge. We got some great pictures and had a LOT of fun. I heart Bizzy.

I had a good day. Aidan dressed himself and came into our room saying “I very very cute.” Indeed he was. :)

There was church. It was the celebration service. :) The choir was good. The message was good. I had a backache and slight cramps and I was STARVING for some reason, so I wasn’t enjoying it so much by the end. We hooked up with Bizzy, took her to lunch, and then we went to The Dawes Arboretum and Black Hand Gorge. What beautiful places. I used to get so annoyed when Chris wanted to go to those places back in the day, but now that I’m into photography, I love going. Bizzy is super fun to hang with, too. We had a BLAST. Especially singing the BOOTIE song. WOOHOO. :D I always enjoy having quality time with Bizzy and today was especially good. <3 You can see more pictures here: CLICK!

Yesterday was good too. Aidan and I didn’t get up until 11am! That was amazing. The cable guy came and installed cable for us and then Aidan and I headed to my counseling appointment. My counselor was very good with Aidan and she took us to Goodale Park. That is a beautiful park and I can’t believe I’ve never indulged in that place before. It’s very pretty and Aidan had a blast on the swings. She also bought us treats (I need to locate mine!) and it was good. After counseling, Aidan and I went to In His Presence, a Christian bookstore, so I could pick up another copy of The Ragamuffin Gospel. I had a copy but I lent it to Jon and Bizzy’s mom over a year ago and honestly, I don’t want to ask for it back. Meaning–I don’t mind if she keeps it because she’s so sweet to me. :)

After that, Aidan and I went home. We hung out for a bit, I finished reading Lust by Robin Wasserman. I am eagerly looking forward to the other six books in her Seven Deadly Sins series!! Apparently this author has been around for ages–why have I never heard of her before? I’m not usually a fan of third-person point-of-view stories, but she is one of the authors who does it well.

She is an inspiration to me and there are characters running rampant in my head, dying for their stories to be told. The trick is that they need to tell me what they want me to share, and show me how to do it well. I guess that’s where this crazy writing talent God gave me comes in. Right?

And holy banana, is it really already 11pm? :( *sniffle* My weekend is over already. At least I have tomorrow evening and Thursday evening free. Tuesday is The Grove, Wednesday is Life Group, and Friday is AIDAN DUTY for real yo.

I watched Cold Case again last night. Damn you, Cold Case, for making me cry even when I don’t give two ice creams about the characters for the first 45 minutes of the show. I was thrilled, however, to be able to watch Pimp My Ride, and Southpark again for the first time in MONTHS. :) Ahh, cable TV. I promise not to abuse thee, but I did enjoy indulging yesterday, that’s for sure.

Good night.

P.S. I want this. Now. LOL.

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